David Archuleta, the pop star who became world famous after coming in second on American Idol, made a surprising announcement during a Christmas concert in Utah. He is putting his career on hold for two years to become a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Members of this church are sometimes nicknamed Mormons, and David is a Mormon.

The audience cheered for him as he made his announcement. He explained that no one had asked him to serve a mission. He had felt strongly that this is something he needed to do and he had learned to listen to these types of promptings when they happened. He did not announce where he was going but did say he’d be leaving after the first of the year.

Mormon missions are voluntary. They aren’t required, but many young adult men and women serve them. Men can serve for two years at age 19, and women serve for eighteen months when they are twenty-one. They pay their own way and serve wherever they are needed. Some serve in their own countries, but others go to foreign lands. During their time, they learn the language of their mission and live as the natives do, which means they sometimes live very primitively. They follow very strict rules, going to bed early, getting up early, and living on a tight budget. There is no dating and music and books are limited to a strict list of religious media. They spend nearly all their time teaching about religion, finding people to teach, studying their religion, or serving others in need. The men wear suits and the women wear dresses.

Why would any young adult want to live like this—and pay for the privilege—at a time most young people are dating, going to school, starting careers, or just having fun? They do it because they love Jesus Christ and want to share what they know about Him. They understand how God has blessed them and how being a Mormon has affected their lives and they want others to have those same blessings.

Although they aren’t paid for their work in money, there are other rewards for serving as a missionary. Missionaries develop a great deal of self-discipline because of the very strict rules they follow. Because they are assigned to a companion they room with and spend all their time with, and because those companions are regularly rotated, they learn to get along with all sorts of people and to adjust to being with another person all the time, a skill that is great preparation for marriage and parenthood. They learn to budget and to live inexpensively, as well as to take care of themselves and their homes. They develop leadership skills and learn to be comfortable meeting and talking to strangers. All these things make them valuable students, employees, and spouses when they return.

Spiritually, having a few years to focus exclusively on God and Jesus Christ is an amazing opportunity. Very few of them will ever again be able to give so much attention to their spiritual development. They learn the gospel extremely well, memorize scriptures, learn how to explain their beliefs, and strengthen their testimonies. They become comfortable talking about Jesus Christ.

How would it affect your life if you were to—at your own expense—spend two years teaching others about Jesus Christ or doing volunteer work under very strict rules. How would it make you different from your peers? David Archuleta is about to find out.

Have you ever wondered where your brown eyes come from or why you love to cook when your parents don’t? Have you ever sat in a history class and wondered if any of your family was involved in the events you were studying. You might have a favorite historical hero, athlete, or author and not even know you’re related. Genealogy can help you find out all sorts of amazing things about yourself. Everyone who was born into your family before you played a part in deciding who you would be.

In history class I learned that the American Civil War was a brother against brother war. Then my dad told me that in my family, that was literally true. Kentucky, where my ancestors lived, was a border state and people fought on both sides. Some families even sent one son to each side to increase the likelihood one of them would come home alive. After that, when my teachers talked about the war, I paid closer attention. That war affected my family in important ways.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose members are sometimes nicknamed Mormons, has just launched a new website to help teenagers learn how to trace their family history. Since it’s meant for teens, it is a little more fun than many of the serious adult sites. More will be added in the future, but right now, you can find a lot of tools to help you get started.

David A. Bednar, a Mormon apostle, gave a speech on genealogy for teenagers. He pointed out teens have great typing skills from texting and using social media and chat. He asked them to put those skills to good use by doing their family history and also to teach older family and neighbors how to use their computers to do genealogy. This new website can help you learn how to do it so you can help others, including your own friends, to get it done.

You have to register for the account if you want to put your genealogy online. However, you can watch the training videos and read the articles without registering. Right now, while the site is still small, there are videos showing you how to get started on your history. Then you can learn how to help others get their family history done and share your own experiences to motivate other teens. Watch some videos or read some comments by other teens who are doing a little online time travel through their family.

The first person whose history you need to look into is your own. Write your story for others to read someday. Put all your information into a chart and then ask your parents for their information. Next go to your grandparents and ask them. Once you run out of living relatives, your older family members can probably tell you about the next generation back. From there, you’ll be able to search online for information on your family. Remember what you learned in school though—verify your information. Some people post genealogy online that isn’t accurate. Look for records and make sure it’s right.

You’ll find that even some of the official records aren’t accurate. For instance, census records are fun to look at because they give you a little snapshot of the family at that moment. But the information is only as accurate as the person who gave it to them—and sometimes it was a neighbor who gave it. When I check census records, I find the names spelled differently and sometimes even different names because the census taker wrote it down wrong or someone started going by his middle name. In one family, a woman decided to tell the census taker she was five years younger than she really was and in every census after that one she was five years younger. If I hadn’t kept searching until I found her birth record and census’ from when she was younger, I’d have had the wrong date.

Sometimes genealogy can seem a little boring, but remember there are real people behind those names and dates. They lived real lives and had real feelings. Sometimes I put their lives into a timeline to get a feel for how their life worked. Then I start noticing things I didn’t see before. For instance, in one family, the father died when the children were very young. Then the mother died. Now they were orphaned. I started wondering how they felt and where they all went when the last parent died. Some were raised by siblings. How would you feel if your older brother or sister had to become your parent? How would you feel if you had to raise your little brothers and sisters alone? Now those kids were real to me. When I read about what happened to them, I try to imagine how they felt about it. I also like to read about famous events that happened in their lives and imagine  how those events affected their lives.

Don’t waste any time getting started. The sooner you start, the more older relatives there are to help you. Try to collect everyone’s life story while they can still give it to you. You’ll get a better understanding of who you are and how you got that way.

By Susan

Even though you are not here in the same room with me as I write, I am writing as if this is just you and me chatting.  One soul to another.

I was recently thinking about myself and my experience with the LDS Temples. Perhaps this might be interesting to you if you never knew anyone who was “Mormon” before.  I am a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are Christians who believe in the Jesus of the New Testament.

We believe that Jesus has walked in the temples of our time, although not very many people have ever seen him there. One man, James Talmage, was writing a book called Jesus the Christ many years ago. He told his granddaughter that as he was working, he saw Jesus in the Salt Lake City Temple. That was a long time ago. The book Mr. Talmage wrote is very good and has been used as a text book , I heard.

Before I ever went into a temple belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I heard some hideous things, rumors, about what went on inside of there. Pure speculation, apparently.

Since I joined the church, I now have the opportunity to go inside the temple whenever I want. It is open most every day, from early in the morning until late in the evening. Currently, I only live about a mile from the temple, but I remember the days when I had to drive 4-6 hours to get to a temple.

The first time I went into a temple was in 1983. It was a wonderful spring day. Inside the temple we wear all white clothing and it feels so clean and fresh. Something happened to me on my first visit in the temple, though: I had a nosebleed. It was a complete surprise and I was afraid I was going to bleed directly onto the pure white clothing I had on. But fortunately, I was able to get a tissue right away, thus avoiding anything I might be embarrassed about.  The day continued fine and I went through a session where I learned a lot of things and was reminded of things I already knew. Most everything that I heard in the temple I had read before in the Holy Bible. It was really nice to hear it again, though, inside what is called The House of the Lord.

Since my first visit in the temple way back then, I have returned many times. It is a place where I can go to pray for something special or for someone who needs some prayers at that time. I have a lot of faith, so when I go I feel like God knows I am there. Oh, I know he loves me all the time. But I think he is extra happy when I come there to pray to him and to feel of the power of his presence.  I’m not saying it is anything weird, but it is like when you know that everything will be alright. It feels like you know that God is watching out for each one of us.

Sometimes when I am there, I learn something that I never could understand before. It seems like my eyes were covered with dark sunglasses in a dim room, but then the glasses are taken off and the room is brighter. It is like I kind of understood before, but now it is a “duh, of course!” moment.

There is a cafeteria in some of the temples where people who are planning to be there for a while can grab a bite to eat.  When I am inside the temple, I really like how everyone is so nice and since they are dressed in white, they all look like angels. A lot of seniors have time to go to the temple, so there is a lot of white hair and it looks really nice.

One more cool thing about being in the temple is nobody ever yells or shouts. It is more like everyone is being reverent and talking in hushed tones.  I don’t know if I could stay in there a long time every day since I am kind of a social talkative person, but it is really nice to be in there for a couple of hours at a time.

The time we spend in the temple is for us and for our ancestors. It is very rewarding to feel connected to those people in our family. When I was there being sealed to my Mom and Dad, it was a very strong feeling, like they were there and maybe a few angels, too, because it seemed like something bigger than just the few people in the room were there. You know that feeling when someone is there even though you can’t see them. It was like that multiplied.  Sealing is an ordinance that binds families together for life beyond this life.  The ultimate goal is for everyone to be sealed to their family eventually.  Sometimes on this earth we don’t like our family members that much. But if we could see them in their perfect form, we would probably want to bow down to them. And God sees them in their perfect form and their human form. So, I think that is probably what helps him to love everyone, even when they are being awful in this earthly life.

The temple is a wonderful place to go to get a better understanding on something, or to pray for those we love, or those we don’t love so that we can learn to love them and forgive them. And it is a place to take care of those important sealings.  Some people go to ask for health or for help with some particularly difficult problem.

But, I like to go just because. Just because it feels so nice and loving there and because I know God wants me there sometimes. One day I felt like he wanted me to go that very day, so I just changed my plans and went and a lot of my friends were there that same day and it seemed like a glorious party had been arranged. It was awesome!  Maybe someday you and I can meet in the temple!  That would be perfect!

Some reviewers of the Book of Mormon Musical on Broadway have pointed out the musical doesn’t just insult Mormons—it also really insults the people of Uganda. While Uganda does have a great deal of poverty and many problems, they aren’t unsolvable problems and not everyone there is suffering. There are educated people, there are people growing up and changing their own country for the better, there are good and kind and intelligent people. The real Uganda is not the Uganda portrayed in the play.

Mormons in Uganda

Throughout Uganda, work is being done by religious groups to help out and many people have moved above poverty.

The musical hints that religion can’t do anything to help with the serious problems of the world. In the last article, we showed how basic faith can make a big difference in the life of someone who is suffering. Today we’re going to look at what churches are doing to try to make poverty a thing of the past. Since this is a Mormon site, we’ll be talking about what Mormons are doing, but lots of faith-based groups are doing similar types of work. God’s people don’t just preach the gospel—they work to take care of God’s children.

In 2009, missionaries got together in Uganda, not to preach the gospel, but to just live it. A lot of refugees were pouring into the country because of dangerous rebel activities in the Congo. These refugees often arrived with nothing at all. The missionaries worked long hours to put together emergency supply kits for them, including blankets, cooking pots, rice, sugar, salt, cooking oil, soap, and mosquito nets. The Church had, at the time of the article linked to on the word missionary at the start of the paragraph, delivered more than 7,000 pounds of food to refugee camps, as well as blankets, cooking pots, and farming tools. Musa Ecweru, Uganda’s Minister of State for Disaster Preparedness, received some of these kits and said, ““Our good friends, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, go about quietly, without a lot of publicity, helping the needy people of Uganda,”

One serious problem in Uganda is that too many babies die. Often their lives could be saved if someone knew what to do for a baby who was not breathing at birth. The Mormons put together a program to train midwives and others in neonatal resuscitation. This means helping babies to breathe if they aren’t. The minister of health in Uganda took the class himself and he told the doctors that every time a baby dies in his country, it creates a 100,000-dollar deficit in his country’s economy. That means it hurts the economy that much. In the first six months after the May 2006 training ended, 646 babies were saved from death. How good is your math? Figure out how much that single effort by the church helped the Ugandan economy. When the economy improves, poverty is easier to fight.

Read how Mormons are saving babies from dying.

Mormons have a huge humanitarian aid program. This program isn’t just for Mormons. It’s for everyone in the village or area where they are working. They bring clean water into villages that never had it. Can you imagine drinking dirty water or having to walk hours to get water at all? That’s how a lot of people around the world live until the church goes in and helps the people to create a clean water source. They provide wheelchairs, glasses, vision treatments, farming help…all sorts of things that make life easier for those who are suffering. They also do things that will help people learn to help themselves so they won’t always have to depend on outsiders.

Some people might think it’s pointless to send missionaries into areas where there is a lot of poverty. But God loves all His children, no matter how poor they are. He wants them to know about Him, but He also wants them to be taken care of and made self-sufficient. For that, He needs His other children, the one with greater privileges, to go away from their comfortable homes and get to work. The Mormons have humanitarian missionaries in addition to their regular missionaries.

But it isn’t just missionaries helping out. Ordinary teenagers in Mormon churches also pitch in to make Uganda a better place. In their own communities they assemble kits like the ones mentioned above or go out into their villages to make something better. One group of teens in the US donated their old clothing to a church program. Their clothes were sent to a prison in Uganda. The women there were not given anything to wear and so they had to remain undressed until some teens in Utah decided to donate some of their clothing.

Take a look at the picture at the top of this article. It’s of a Mormon family in Uganda. The musical portrays Ugandans as primitive and stupid. Do you think they got Uganda right? How would you feel if all people in your country were portrayed the way Ugandans are treated in the musical? It might have made the musical’s creators feel “cool” to make fun of people, but Christians know we don’t treat others with that complete lack of respect. Nor do we just goof around being silly when there is serious work to be done, despite what the musical suggests.  While there are some people in Uganda who are poor, more and more are learning the skills and getting the health they need to move on—and Mormons and other religious people are helping to make that happen.

When thirteen-year-old Spencer was called to be the president of his deacon’s quorum, he took the job seriously. A deacon is a member of the Mormon priesthood. Mormons have a different kind of priesthood than most churches because every worthy boy or man who is at least twelve-years-old can hold the priesthood. There are different levels and deacons are first. Boys are usually deacons when they are twelve and thirteen.

The boys meet in quorums, or groups, on Sundays and usually one weekday as well, based on the level of priesthood they hold. Each quorum has a president, two counselors (similar to vice-presidents) and a secretary. All these positions are held by the boys themselves. Adult leaders are assigned to teach and supervise the groups, but the boys lead themselves under the supervision of the adults.

Spencer understood that being the president meant he was to watch over all the other boys in his quorum and to make sure they were taken care of. While it might be easy and fun to look after your closest friends, a deacon quorum president is expected to become friends with all the boys in order to know what they most need.

In Spencer’s quorum was a boy named Dayton. Dayton has cerebral palsy. He can’t walk and can’t communicate except to blink for yes and not blink for no. A lot of teenagers would find it too hard to become friends with someone who could not communicate, but not Spencer. The two boys became good friends.

One day Spencer, who enjoys doing triathlons, had an idea. He always thought Dayton should get to do all the things other kids his age got to do, and so, he decided Dayton needed to race in a triathlon. He asked Dayton if he’d like to do that and Dayton blinked to show he would.

How do you do a triathlon when you can’t walk or even sit up alone? Well, you need a friend to help out. Spencer had some help in getting the supplies he needed to be the person who helped. First, they created a special bicycle with a cart attached. Spencer would ride the bike and Dayton would be right behind in the cart. That would take care of the bicycle portion of the triathlon. There was also a swimming portion so Spencer had to swim pulling an inflatable boat holding Dayton. When he did the running portion, he pushed Dayton’s wheelchair.

As you can imagine, this was very hard work. Triathlons are difficult when you race them alone, but to push and pull another person as you go makes it exceptionally hard. Spencer noticed he had to work so much harder and near the end, he felt he had nothing left with which to finish the race. But from somewhere deep inside himself, he found the energy and finished the race.

He didn’t win, of course, with the extra challenge of another person. He came in 82^nd, although he did finish first in the relay. Or, we should say, they finished 82^nd and 1^st.  Spencer considered this Dayton’s race and was puzzled to be called a hero. To him, Dayton was the hero.

Jesus taught us to take of those in need, to be loving friends to everyone, to serve. He served and had a special fondness for people with disabilities. The Bible tells us of a blind man who often sat on the side of the road, begging. When he heard Jesus was coming, he was determined to meet him and to ask for a gift of healing. He tried calling out to Jesus but other people told him to stop and to not bother Jesus. In their minds, the blind man wasn’t important enough to bother someone as special as Jesus.

However, Jesus heard the calls and asked for the man to be brought to him. The blind man was suddenly nervous, but the apostles encouraged him to go ahead and approach Jesus. He did and Jesus lovingly and respectfully asked how he could help the man. The man asked for his sight and Jesus praised him for his great faith. He told the man it was his faith that had healed him. Imagine the lesson learned when people realized this man, whom they all thought was unimportant, had faith so great as to bring about a miracle.

And imagine the lessons people learned when they watched Spencer give up any real chance of winning the triathlon and as they watched him struggle to help his friend be able to experience the thrill of a triathlon. Not only did Spencer help Dayton, the story of his great and Christlike gift is helping teenagers and even adults learn how to be more like Jesus.

Watch the video of Dayton’s legs.

Do you consider yourself the creative type? If not, maybe you think creativity is about being a great artist or writer. Those are two ways to be creative, but they’re not the only ways. Look at these types of creativity teens like you might have:

Lindsey plans parties everyone wants to go to. She has great ideas for activities that keep everyone busy and entertained while helping them live up to high moral standards.

Kevin is the person everyone turns to when there is a problem to be solved. He always seems to be able to come up with an idea for fixing what is wrong, and sometimes his ideas are unusual, which just makes them more fun to carry out.

Emily loves to cook but she hardly ever makes a recipe the way it’s written. She likes to make changes to them so the end result is something unique to her.

Brian’s little brother has dyslexia and has a really hard time learning to read. Everyone in the family helps him, but they all agree Brian is the best. He comes up with new techniques for solving the reading problems and also thinks of ways to make the tutoring sessions more interesting. He’s doing a great job of helping his brother actually want to learn to read.

Would you have thought of these kinds of things as being creative? Most people are creative in some little way every single day, but don’t realize it because they think of creativity in terms of certain talents. A Mormon apostle, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, said that if we think we aren’t creative we need to remember our heritage. We are God’s children and He is the most creative being in the universe. He created the entire world and everyone and everything in it. Since we are His children, we have inherited a gift for creativity from Him.

“You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.”

So all you have to do to be creative is to bring something into existence that wasn’t there before. What could you bring into your family’s life that wasn’t there before? What could you bring into your friend’s life that wasn’t there before?

Here’s an example of a little thing you could do. When you go to school this week, look around for someone who isn’t popular, maybe someone who eats lunch alone. Eat lunch with her—get your friends in on the project so they welcome this person. Convince them to be really nice to her and challenge each of them to learn three great things about this person. Everyone is interesting and admirable in some way, but it takes unselfishness and patience to find out what it is sometimes. That will be the job you and your friends set out to do. If it turns out this person is a good person with good character or real potential, start inviting her to join you every day at lunch and include her in your activities. Spread the word about the good stuff you’ve learned about her. It’s possible, when other people find out what is good, she will start finding other friends as well and that she will gain new confidence.

Does that sound more like a service project than a creative act? What will you be bringing into existence that wasn’t there before? You’ll be bringing friendship into the life of someone who doesn’t have it and self-esteem. Those are wonderful things to bring into someone’s life and it is a very creative way to live.

I remember when I was in high school a group of girls I knew entered our town’s beauty pageant. For some reason a mentally handicapped girl decided to enter. She wasn’t very pretty and her clothes and hair weren’t very nice. The other girls were talking about it and one worried that people might laugh at her when she walked on stage. She thought they should help the girl look better but they didn’t want to hurt her feelings by suggesting they thought she wasn’t pretty enough. Together, they concentrated on being creative and soon came up with the idea of having all the girls get together for a makeover party. They all helped make each other over and this way, the girl they were helping was just getting what all the other girls were getting. They practiced together, shared clothes and shopped together for what they needed.

Here’s an interesting side effect of this creative act, though. The girls did all this to help one girl, but in the end they wound up helping all the girls in the competition. As they worked together, they became friends and when the competition began, they were justifiably proud of every single girl because each person in the contest had helped every other girl be her very best for the competition. No matter who won, they would all have had a part in the winner’s success.

I don’t remember who did win, but I do remember they were asked to vote for the girl who had done the most to promote friendship among the contestants. They all chose the girl they first set out to help because she was the reason they had all become friends. That girl didn’t win the pageant, but she walked away with an award that was more important than one saying she was the prettiest girl—hers said she was the best friend.

The girls who entered the contest thought they were there to prove how beautiful they were but in the end, what they really proved was how nice they were—and how creative.

So, what creative thing are you going to do this week?

Watch the video of President Uchtdorf’s talk to learn more about being creative in small ways.

Madison lives in Gila, Arizona. She has a severe form of autism and because of that, many of the ordinary experiences of teenagers are out of her reach. For Mormon teen girls, earning the Young Women’s Medallion is an ordinary teen experience. The girls work for their entire teenage years to earn this medallion, completing a series of requirements starting when they are twelve and finishing when or before they are eighteen. For Madison, though, these requirements were impossible.

One day, Madison’s cousin was reading an article about some girls who helped a disabled teenager earn her medallion. She began thinking about Madison and wondered if there was a way she and the other girls in her congregation could help Madison earn her medallion. However, Madison couldn’t do most of the requirements, even with help. The girls decided they would earn her medallion in proxy. Each girl would choose one requirement to fulfill for Madison.

They talked to their leaders, who then talked to their own leaders to get permission. It was decided the girls could do this as long as they completed their own requirement for their medallion first and then did another one—or the same one twice where choices weren’t offered—for Madison. They couldn’t do it once and count it twice.

Some girls chose very long sections. One girl cooked dinner for her family for two weeks. Another read the entire Book of Mormon. Each girl did these things to help a girl in their youth group receive an award that is highly cherished by Mormon teens because it is hard to earn. They are publicly recognized for their accomplishments, and now, when the recognitions were given, Madison wouldn’t be left out.

One girl explained that the Savior had done something for all of us we couldn’t do for ourselves—He died for our sins—and so they were now doing something for someone else she couldn’t do for herself.

Watch the video and listen as the girls themselves tell you about their experience. Warning—it’s a tear jerker!

Brandon Jackson is a teenage hero. He’s eighteen years old and since he was fourteen, he’s raised more than 150,000 dollars to help Honduran orphans. He also travels there to work with the children at his own expense on a regular basis.

He first learned of the project when a Catholic woman spoke at his school. He felt the Holy Ghost prompting him to get involved and he took the prompting seriously. It’s changed his entire life as he’s made a big difference in the lives of the orphans and now, someday, he wants to have his own humanitarian aid program. He says he believes it is important to link charity to your faith.

Watch what Brandon is doing to change the world:

Rx for Friendship: Be One

Friendship is usually pretty important to most teenagers. Not having friends can make a teenager frustrated and lonely. Having the wrong kinds of friends can cause all sorts of trouble for teens. When you have a best friend, and it’s a real best friend who loves you and has your best interest at heart, it can make the teen years so much more wonderful.

In my last post, I talked about a famous Biblical friendship between David (the one who slew Goliath) and Jonathon, the king’s son. Their friendship might have seemed pretty unlikely since God had decided to give David the throne Jonathon would have someday had otherwise. Jonathon had so much character, though, that he was able to put all that aside and become David’s best friend. They were so close that Jonathon even defied his wicked father to save David’s life when King Saul wanted to kill him out of pure jealousy. When David was finally forced to flee the kingdom, they promised to be friends forever, even if they lived far apart.

Do you have a best friend like that? Do you want one? While there aren’t any guarantees that you’ll find that kind of best friend, you can increase your chances of finding a friend by following these rules:

1. First, become the best person you can be. That doesn’t mean getting an expensive wardrobe or acting like someone you aren’t. It doesn’t mean lowering your standards. Instead, be who God wants you to be. Focus on developing the inside you, the parts that count. Be honest, kind, thoughtful, and helpful. People are attracted to kind people. If you want a really great best friend, you need to be a really great person.
2. Decide what kind of best friend you want. Remember that popularity is really unimportant when you’re looking for a forever friendship. You want someone who shares and respects your values. Your friends don’t all have to be the same religion as you, and you might have small ways you are different, but you should share important values like honesty and kindness. When your values are higher than those of your friends, they should respect them and not try to make you lower them, just as you shouldn’t try to lower theirs.
3. Don’t do all the talking. Of course you’re going to talk about yourself sometimes, but you should make sure you’re also letting others talk about themselves. Generally, when people get to talk about themselves, they feel they’ve had a great conversation. Ask questions that show you are interested in the other person—not personal, embarrassing questions, but questions that tell you more about them and that allow them to talk about their favorite subjects, as long as their favorite subjects are appropriate.
4. It isn’t all about you. When deciding how to spend time, make sure you let your friends choose their favorite activities sometimes, even if you’re not that interested in it. Good friends will go to the museum one day because one of the group loves it and to a baseball game the next because a different friend loves sports.
5. Be respectful of your friends’ time. Don’t call too often or talk too long—unless of course, you both love to talk!
6. Be respectful of your friends’ families. If the parents like you, they will make it easier for the friendship to grow and to continue. Don’t wake the family with late night calls on the land line or stay too late. Be a good influence on your friends and be polite to the parents. Clean up after yourself. Be especially kind to younger siblings, who often get jealous when their older siblings have friends over.
7. Surprise your friends. You don’t have to buy your friends expensive gifts, but sometimes it’s nice to surprise them with something that tells them you’re thinking of them. Something simple—a homemade card, a cookie, a note on their social networking site, an emailed picture or comic that made you think of them—just lets them know they matter. Everyone wants to matter.
8. Be whatever kind of friend you want to have. If you treat others the way you want to be treated, you’ll be considered a great friend.
9. If you don’t currently have a friend, be patient. Be nice to people, be cheerful, and pitch in to help. Go to church, join a club, volunteer somewhere. Not only will doing those things keep you too busy to feel sorry for yourself, but they are great ways to meet people with similar values and interests.

10. Look for other friendless people. When we look around for friends, we often focus on the people who already have lots of friends. Look for someone who needs a friend and start there. I knew a girl once who was beautiful, kind, smart and popular. She could have joined any crowd, but she chose to gather up the kids who didn’t have many friends and befriend them. They weren’t the popular kids, but she didn’t care. She was nice to everyone and pretty soon no one was judging her choices in friends. If they wanted to be her friend, they had to accept her other friends. She didn’t dump the unpopular kids when the popular kids went after her. She was a real friend and so other people who were good at friendship wanted her to be their friend also.

Mormon teenagers receive a booklet called “For the Strength of Youth.” This booklets teaches Mormon teens the standards God holds them to. The section on friendship sums up what every teen needs to know about choosing and being a friend: “Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act, and even help determine the person you will become. Choose friends who share your values so you can strengthen and encourage each other in living high standards. A true friend will encourage you to be your best self.

To have good friends, be a good friend yourself. Show interest in others and let them know you care about them. Treat everyone with kindness and respect. Go out of your way to be a friend to those who are shy or do not feel included.”

Additional Resources:

Friends of the opposite sex are obviously of great interest to teens as well. Find out what it takes to make friends of the opposite sex.

Visit the official site for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called by friends of other faiths as the “Mormon Church”) to learn more about Mormon youth.

We’ve been talking about a book by Kenda Creasy Dean which suggests Mormon teens and teens in black churches are more likely to be strongly committed to their religions that other teens. One thing the author says we have to do is to make sure teenagers have a personal testimony, not just one borrowed from someone else. She says Mormon teens have that.

How do Mormon teens get their testimonies? From the time Mormons are preschoolers, they’re told they need to get their very own testimonies and they’re taught how to do that. Read this lesson manual for teachers of teenage Mormon girls on testimony. You’ll see that they are taught why they need a testimony, how to get one, how to strengthen it, and what to do with it once they have it. Mormons don’t believe teens automatically understand they need a testimony, so they tell their teens and help them to get one. They believe teens, and even children, are old enough and wise enough to do this.

In the past posts, we learned that Mormons give teens a lot of opportunities to learn about their religion. You can’t get a testimony of something you don’t know anything about. We also found out teens get a lot of chances to serve in the church, which helps them feel connected.

But did you know Mormon teens also help to lead their church? Doing this helps them strengthen their testimonies and gain leadership skills for the future.

The Young Men’s program and the Young Women’s program are run by the teenagers. They have adult leaders, but those leaders are supposed to provide shadow leadership. That means they are there to guide and to help the teens understand what to do, not to actually run the program. Of course, they have the final say, but they let the teens do as much as they can alone. Each class has a three person teen presidency plus a teen secretary who run the program. The president is chosen by the adults for her leadership skills and her good example to others. She prays to choose the others. The presidency changes often, giving many teens a chance to lead. There are often other programs they lead too, such as planning the annual camp.

The teens are taught to plan their activities by asking a simple question: What do we want to have happen in the lives of our classmates? For instance, they might have a new classmate who is in a wheelchair. Perhaps they noticed some of the teens feel a little uncomfortable around her. They decide that what they want to have happen is for the other teens to understand her disability and to become friends. They plan a disability awareness night with that girl’s help and include things like wheelchair races and a wheelchair decorating activity. They carry out the activity and then evaluate it to see if it did what they wanted. If it didn’t, they try to figure out what went wrong so their next activity will be more successful.

As they run their programs, they know they are a part of the success of their church. They have a stronger commitment to their religion and, as they pray for help with their jobs, they strengthen their testimonies.

Mormon teens are encouraged to share their testimonies with others. One thing the study found was that many teenagers don’t know how to talk about their beliefs. Mormon teens are taught how to do that from preschool years. They know many of them will go on volunteer missions as young adults and even those who don’t are encouraged to talk to their friends about their religion. The more they teach it to others, in church classes, talks (sermons), and informally, the stronger their testimonies become.

How do Mormon teenagers get their testimonies?

As we mentioned earlier, they first learn about their religion. Then they’re taught to put it to the test. If you read that serving others is a good thing to do, then go serve and see how it makes you feel. If you feel peaceful inside you know you’ve done the right thing because Satan can’t bring true peace. Pay your tithing (ten percent of all you earn) and see how that makes you feel.

The most important step is to pray. Only God can give you a sure answer you can trust about which church is true. Any human can be wrong, even people who love you and want the best for you. So Mormon teens are taught to go directly to God for their answers. They first decide for themselves what is true. Then they kneel down and ask God to confirm their choice. If they feel peaceful and have a warm, loving feeling in their hearts, they know they were right. If they have a negative feeling, they know they need to start over.

Sometimes, of course, they don’t get an answer at all. God doesn’t answer every prayer instantly. Sometimes he wants us to keep studying and to keep asking Him. How badly do we really want to know the answer? Enough to keep at it for a long time—even a year or more? Mormons call this slow process learning “line upon line.” Sometimes God answers our prayers a little at a time. Instead of saying the whole Church is true, He might let you know the Church’s teachings about families being forever are true. Then He might give you a testimony of tithing. If you accept these answers and put them into your everyday life, God knows you are ready for even more responsibility, so He will tell you more.

And that is the critical part of the process. Once God tells you what is right, you’re expected to actually do what you are taught. Mormons don’t believe in “Sin on Saturday, Sermon on Sunday.” You’re supposed to be a Mormon every day all day, always thinking about it and always living it. It might seem overwhelming if you’re used to treating God like a butler.

The author of the book says teens tend to treat God like a butler—someone who is there when you need him and out of sight and mind when you don’t. Mormon teens don’t see God or Jesus Christ that way. They believe God is always with them and they should be in a constant conversation with Him.

What do you think? Do you want a real testimony of God? Give it a try and see how it changes your life.