Mormon Prom? What is that!?  Youth (ages 16-18) from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (inadvertently called the “Mormon Church”) in the Fredericksburg Virginia Stake are having their prom inside of a “cruise ship” (okay, maybe it’s a church decorated as a giant cruise ship) this coming Saturday! Now it’s not an ordinary thing to have prom separate from the school sponsored dance, but some members of The Church of Jesus Christ (also known as “Mormons”) are creating an opportunity for youth to participate in prom with out all of the “immoral baggage” that can sometimes be associated with “normal” prom.

Who can go?

Over 1,700 Mormon Youth ages 16-18 from the McLean to Massaponax area are invited. But you don’t have to be a Mormon to go, you just need to keep the standards…which leads us to the next question:

Why have a Mormon Prom?

Mormons strive to live a high standard that helps them be disciples of Jesus Christ “at all times, in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9). Below are some excerpts from a pamphlet titled For the Strength of Youth, which are incorporated into the standards of the Mormon Prom:

• “Attend only those dances where dress, grooming, lighting, lyrics, music, and entertainment contribute to a wholesome atmosphere where the Spirit may be present” (see Music and Dancing).
• Dress modestly. “Never lower your standards of dress. Do not use a special occasion as an excuse to be immodest. When you dress immodestly, you send a message that is contrary to your identity as a son or daughter of God. You also send the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval” (see Dress and Appearance).

Having such standards help youth avoid immoral behavior (which can lead to lots of undesired consequences); and invite the Spirit of the Lord into their lives. Unfortunately lots of youth, all over the world use prom as an excuse to participate in sexual transgressions. The For the Strength of Youth also goes into detail about this topic—here is a little blurp: “Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage” (see Sexual Purity). Simple as that. The best way to prevent unwanted sexual behavior is to avoid any situation that could possibly lead to that—another great reason for this upcoming Mormon Prom.

I am grateful for my husband, whom I was blessed to go to Prom with in high school. It was actually our first date! I remember vividly how impressed I was that he kept the high standards as described in The For the Strength of Youth and it made our date so fun and worry free!

I invite you to learn more about Mormon youth and why they want to live in such a unique way by chatting online with Mormon missionaries. I testify that Jesus Christ lives and He is our Savior. And through Him we can live this high standard in order to receive true and lasting happiness!

The media has been talking a lot about proms, lately. They have become enormously expensive and many teens can’t afford to attend. Because they are so expensive, some see them as more important than they need to be and many times, those proms end in disaster, either physically or morally.

In California, some teens are fighting the trend of overly expensive proms. Mormon teenagers and their guests held a prom at the Santa Margarita Bell Tower that cost just fifteen dollars. The boys wore suits (most Mormon boys already own suits that they wear to church) and the girls wore lovely dresses that were modest and did not appear to cost the many hundreds of dollars some traditional prom dresses cost.

You can see how the teens dressed in the media coverage of this Mormon prom at Deseret News.

The music was carefully chosen to be morally appropriate while still modern and popular. The teens were not allowed to engage in sexualized dancing. Everyone had to be at least sixteen, since Mormons believe dating should be reserved for those sixteen and older. Eighty percent had dates, but those who preferred not to date yet were welcome.

Mormons believe that dating in high school is a chance for young people to get to know each other and to develop friendships with and understanding of those of the opposite gender. However, they teach their young people to date in groups and to date a wide range of people rather than to become exclusive at such a young age. Studies have shown that teens who pair off too young are more likely to become pregnant or to marry too soon.

Mormon boys are taught to wait until they return from their volunteer missionary service to begin courting (dating one person exclusively with the thought of possible future marriage in mind). Girls are encouraged to wait until they finish high school or return from their own missions. This allows them to avoid serious relationships until they are old enough and mature enough to marry.

Mormons also teach their young people to remain morally pure before marriage. This is one reason to avoid early serious relationships. They are taught that they are responsible for the moral well-being of their dates. This holds true for both boys and girls. The same standards apply to both.

The prom helped the teens to improve their social skills, since they were given guidance on how to plan and prepare for the date. They also learned they could have fun in an inexpensive and completely moral environment. There is no need for teens to compromise their values, even on prom night.

Read more about Mormon dating standards.

In April of 2013, Mormon girls attended or viewed an international meeting just for them. The speakers were the international leaders for the program, known as Young Women, and one Mormon apostle. The program serves girls ages twelve to seventeen worldwide. Soon after the conference ended, the adult leaders for this program were “released” and a new presidency put in. Women normally serve in the General Presidency for about five years, so it was a normal rotation. However, although the girls listening did not know, the leaders did know this would be their final messages to these girls.

Stand in Holy Places

Ann M. Dibb, the second counselor to the president, spoke on the 2013 theme for the Young Women’s program. The theme is “Stand ye in holy places” and is taken from a verse of Mormon scripture found in Doctrine and Covenants Section 87 and the portion referred to includes the admonition to not be moved.

Sister Dibb suggests that while holy places can include temples, churches, and even homes, it can also include moments in time. This would refer to those times when we are receiving inspiration from the Holy Ghost, getting answers to prayers, or feeling God’s love in our lives. She encouraged girls to create their own sacred spaces, even in the hardest places or moments in their lives.

Our Choices Affect Others

Mary N. Cook, the first counselor, also spoke on standing in holy places. She suggested that our righteous choices will impact our families, past and present, and will also influence the world around us. She referenced a girl she knew whose father died when she was just fourteen. The girl was determined to hold on to her relationship with God and so she created holy places all around her as she read scriptures, attended church, and made good choices. In time, she was able to marry a good man and go on to raise a righteous family. Each decision she made along the path impacted her future options and led to the sacred place she made out of her life. These decisions can impact her family for generations to come and that gives importance to every seemingly small choice she makes.

Stand Firm

In her final talk as president, Elaine S. Dalton referenced a statue that can be found on a pier in Copenhagen. She has the replica on her desk. It is of a girl named Katrina, who became a Mormon and then came to America. The original statue faces the water and Sister Dalton noticed that she is facing into the wind, representing that she is doing something very difficult, but very right.

She likened this to the girls listening to her. They also stood poised on the brink of challenging changes in their lives and would need to stand strong against the winds that tried to blow them off-course. She encouraged them to “be not moved” regardless of worldly pressures.

Sister Dalton asked the girls to stand firm in four ways. First, she requested that they be not moved in choosing right.

Elaine S. Dalton told the girls she had recently revisited the high school she had attended. She was there for a religious conference, but in the audience were many people she had gone to high school with and even men she had dated as a teenager. She encouraged the girls to look ahead and to vow that they would never, as adults, be embarrassed by the choices they made as teenagers, particularly those choices they make in their relationships with others. The choices they make often impact other people, too. If they refuse to lower their standards on a date, it becomes easier for a boy to hold his standards high. When the two meet again at a reunion or somewhere else, they will not need to be embarrassed by the relationship they had.

This led to her second request, that they be not moved in their desire and commitment to remain virtuous and sexually pure. Satan was not allowed to have a body and in his fierce jealousy, he tries to convince us to abuse our bodies and to treat them disrespectfully. When we allow ourselves to practice addictions, moral sins, tattoos, and other poor choices related to the body God gave us we dishonor the gift God gave us and we also limit our own choices for the future.

Mormons are often taught that their bodies are temples. This is a comparison to the sacred temples in which Mormons go to make sacred covenants with God. Sister Dalton taught that our bodies house our own spirits, but they also have the potential to house the spirits of other children of God through motherhood. We have a sacred responsibility to keep that housing pure and ready to receive a precious child of God.

Third, Sister Dalton asked the girls to be not moved in being worthy to make and keep sacred covenants. A covenant is a two-way promise between God and ourselves. Mormons make their first covenants at baptism when they are eight years old (or older if they are converts). At this time, they promise to take on themselves the name of Jesus Christ and to keep His commandments. When they keep their promises, God vows to keep His own. Each week when they take the sacrament (communion) they renew those covenants. Covenants are made again in the Mormon temples in adulthood. They commit themselves to following the Savior and honoring and respecting their family relationships. However, they must have already achieved a fairly high level of faith and commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ before entering the temple and so they need to demonstrate their faith by actually living like a follower of Jesus Christ, rather than just saying the words. The teen years are critical to that process, since they often set the pattern for adult behavior.

“As you keep your baptismal covenant, you will look different, dress different, and act different from the world. Keeping this covenant will enable you to be guided by the Holy Ghost. Stand in holy places, and do not even go near those environments or music, media, or associations that might cause you to lose the companionship of the Holy Ghost.”

Finally, she asked them to be not moved in their acceptance of the Savior’s Atonement. Although girls should try to live a virtuous life at all times, everyone falls short. She advised them to accept the power of the atonement to bring about forgiveness when that happens. She invited them, should they be not feeling worthy to stand in holy places that day, to not live another day with that feeling. They can repent, something Satan does not want them to know. He doesn’t want them to believe they can ever change, but they can, with the help of God and Jesus Christ.

Love the Journey of Life

Dieter F. Uchtdorf was the final speaker. He is the second counselor to the president of the church. His theme was journeys. Our life is a journey that began in Heaven and ends with a return to Heaven. In between, we are here on earth. Our map for this journey is the gospel of Jesus Christ and can be found in the scriptures, in the teachings of God’s prophets (both ancient and modern) and in personal revelation we receive directly from God for our own lives. He reminded the girls that a map is useless if it isn’t read and followed.

He asked the girls to look around and to remember that every person in the room, every person they will ever meet, was valiant in the pre-mortal life, where Mormons teach we had to choose whether to follow God or Satan. Some people may have forgotten they were once valiant and might have lost their way, but they started out on the right path and so that potential for success is inside them. He reminded them that it is the Holy Ghost that converts, but it is their responsibility to be a good example, to share their faith, and to be kind to those who feel alone or lost.

To that end, he asked them to focus not always on what they want, but on the needs of others, to spend their mortality showing love to God’s other children. Finally, he also asked them to make this a joyful journey. Even though life is sometimes not ideal, and sometimes is even very painful, they can choose to be joyful.

This video was shown to the girls at the conference. It is about a teenager going to the temple and remembering all the things in her life that made her able to go.

You may have once invited a Mormon friend of yours to a party. He or she might have asked, “Is there going to be alcohol there?” And if the answer was “Yes,” your Mormon friend might have declined.

Mormons— a nickname for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—do not believe in smoking, drinking, or partaking of any substance that is harmful to the body. There is a small book available especially for youth called For the Strength of Youth. It has guidelines on topics that all youth sometimes wonder about; for example, Agency and Accountability, Dating, Education, Entertainment and the Media, Friends, Language, and Sexual Purity. In the section entitled Physical and Emotional Health, it states: “Your body is a temple, a gift from God. You will be blessed as you care for your body. Choose to obey the Word of Wisdom.” A temple is a sacred house of the Lord, and we see our bodies as “sacred houses” for our spirit during our life here on Earth.

When The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was established around the early 1800s, Joseph Smith, Jr., the leader of the “restored church” (meaning it is the restoration of the ancient Church of Jesus Christ, with the same power and authority as the early church), received many revelations from God pertaining to the organization and well-being of the Saints (active members). These revelations are known as the Doctrine & Covenants and are known as one of the standard works of the Church. In 1833, Joseph Smith received a revelation known as Doctrine & Covenants 89, or the “Word of Wisdom.”

The Word of Wisdom explains food, drink and substances we should or should not partake of.

“And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies. And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill” (D&C 89:7-8).

An example of a strong drink is alcohol.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we believe in following these guidelines. We don’t see the Word of Wisdom in the way of holding us back or a list of Do-Not’s, but see it as protecting us and helping our lives for good. “When you are obedient to this law, you remain free from harmful addictions and have control over your life” (“Physical and Emotional Health” in For the Strength of Youth). When someone becomes addicted, to anything, it allows that substance to take control of him/her. Depending on how bad the addiction is, it can hurt oneself, one’s friends, and one’s family. It can ruin marriages and tear apart families.

We have all seen the commercials of someone who is drunk and his/her friends are messing around, allowing for that person to be acted upon instead of act for him or herself. We have also seen the studies and dangerous effects of alcohol on our driving, judgment, and well-being as well as the health problems that can arise from smoking and drinking. By following and obeying the Word of Wisdom, we protect ourselves from these harmful situations and can live a long, healthy life free from addiction and health problems due to smoking and drinking.

For those who are struggling with addiction, there are four words of comfort to hear: You can overcome it. With faith, prayer, and even the help of a trusted adult, you can overcome the addiction and feel the blessings of a healthy lifestyle, even if you are not a member of the Church right now. It may not be easy, but won’t the thought of living a long, healthy life be worth it?

My grandfather is a great example to me about obeying the Word of Wisdom. About ten years ago, my grandfather survived a massive heart attack. The doctor said that it is a good thing he didn’t smoke or drink, otherwise his heart wouldn’t have been strong enough to survive. He is grateful for a promise he made to himself as a teenager to never even take that first drink, and because he held true to that promise, he continues a longer life and I’m grateful that he’s alive and that I can be around him and hear his stories.

It really helps members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to know that they are free from addictions and promised health and wisdom by simply choosing to say “No” to drugs and alcohol and lives are blessed, improved and even saved by following the Word of Wisdom. We are promised by God that “all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones… And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint” (D&C 89:18,20).

This article was written by Erik Gray, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Erik Gray is 19 years old and lives in Utah. He is a college student and three-time cancer fighter. He loves running, graphic design, and being with friends and family. His favorite sports are football, basketball, and of course, running. In his spare time he likes to watch movies, be with family, and spend time with friends. For his future career he wants to be a graphic designer or a motivational speaker, or maybe both. He acknowledges that knowing that Jesus Christ is his Savior, being a member of His Church, and living righteously, he can return to live with Him someday. It is his hope to use his testimony and experiences to help others with what they’re going through and share the glorious message of the Gospel.

Additional Resources:

Basic Mormon Beliefs and Real Mormons

A Mormon Encyclopedia

Whatever you think of when you picture the best high school basketball team in the country, it probably doesn’t look like a picture of Lone Peak High School in Highland, Utah. An all-white, not-too-tall, and not-too-tough team took the country by surprise this year, beating out taller and tougher teams all over the country. They look so not-tough that when they’re warming up, other teams have been known to laugh.

When the game ends, they aren’t laughing anymore.

They are winning by an average of 26 points each game. They play more like inner-city teams than suburban teams. Even more importantly, they all really do live within the boundaries of their school. No outside recruiting to make the team look better for this high school.

Oh, and one more thing—they’re all Mormons. All five seniors are planning Mormon missions, four as soon as they graduate, and the other one in a year or so. They even drew the attention of their church, which used them to demonstrate how the new mission rules play out in real life. Mormons just lowered the ages missionaries can serve and boys can now go when they turn eighteen if they’ve graduated from high school. They don’t have to, however. They can leave at any time until they are twenty-six. The previous age was nineteen and a lot of boys still want to leave then, when they’re a little older and have a little college behind them.

They had all planned to leave when they were nineteen. Eric Mica had intended to get in a year at Brigham Young University first and he decided to stick with the plan he’d set up. That schedule had always felt just right to him. When the opportunity came to leave sooner, he prayed again and still felt it would be best for him to serve when he is nineteen.

Nick Emery, on the other hand, had always wanted to leave straight out of high school.  As soon as he learned that was possible, he altered his plans to leave as soon as he was eighteen. He has already been called to serve in Germany.

Talon Shumway is headed for Texas at graduation and Braden Miles for Washington, DC. Connor Toolson is leaving later in the summer.

Their area isn’t really known for basketball, but some of them have impressive basketball heritages. Nick Emery’s older brother Jackson was co-captain with Jimmer Fredette at Brigham Young University. Tyler Haws’ older brother, who also played with Fredette, recently returned from a mission and, as a sophomore, has already broken the one thousand career points record and is on track to break the school record for the most points if he continues his current path.

The coach, Quincy Lewis, has known many of the players since they were children. He coaches youth basketball and many of his team players were on his youth teams. He has had the unique opportunity to train his team long before they reached high school.

The boys are very open about their religion. They often list the Book of Mormon as their last book read and include missions and Mormon temple marriages in their list of goals on the team program. They accept teasing about their heritage, explaining to people that they are not from polygamist families.

While people might expect young, highly moral Mormon boys to be wimps on the court, they are quickly cured of that stereotype. They are winning against teams bigger and stronger than they are and the world is starting to take notice. Check out this article at the New York Times on the Lone Peak Team.

The Mormons rolled out a new curriculum for their teens this year. The program is being used in Sunday classes and in weekday religion classes, as well. One unique aspect of the class is that it is very technology-oriented.

Most Mormon classes are taught from a printed manual written many years ago. The new program is online, which means it can be updated as often as necessary. If a new talk or even occurs the week before the lesson is supposed to be taught, that can be included in the resources.

The new curriculum includes music, videos, and pictures, and many teachers are using their tablets or laptop computers to assist them in presenting the lesson. Teens can find those resources online, which means they can re-watch the videos or download the music at home. It brings in tools that are familiar and comfortable to teenagers and help visual learners process the material better.

The new lessons are not really teacher-taught. The teacher is more like a mentor or guide. Each month has a theme and the themes are listed with smaller topics, different ones for Sunday School and the class that follows, which is Young Men or Young Women. The students will study the same topic all month, but from different perspectives. The teachers select from a list that has more topics than can be covered, so she (or he) can choose the ones her class most needs. Students can even request a focus from the list.

The teacher studies all the materials and looks over all the suggested resources. Then she chooses the ones she feels will best help her own class. However, she won’t be standing in front of the class giving a lecture. Instead, she will guide the students to find answers to questions. For instance, she might ask why we have trials in life. She might show a video and play some music and then divide the class into groups. Each group will be given a reference material and a list of places the answers might be found. They study the materials, figure out the answers to the questions—and then teach it to their own classmates. In this way, a range of materials can be explored in a short time, with each group sharing the results of its research.

Students are free to ask questions that can be answered by the teacher or by the other students. Students, in fact, are encouraged to be the ones to give the answers. By asking and answering their own questions, a discussion begins and the lesson takes on a life of its own. It travels in the direction that meets the needs of the students. If they are particularly worried about something, or something is in the news that week related to the topic, they are able to explore it. At the end of the lesson, they decide if they understand that day’s topic well enough or if they’d like to continue it the following week.

During the week, students are expected to study the topic on their own in their own way, to have real-world experiences with the topic, and to come to class ready to share what they learned and to ask about what they didn’t understand. They take responsibility for their own spiritual growth—a method that is very different from the way they are used to learning. Many teens are finding it a challenge to learn this way at first, since it isn’t usually done that way in school and wasn’t done that way in church. However, once they get used to it, they love it. They love being able to participate, to have a variety of teaching methods, and to have more control over their learning experience.

Check it out for yourself:

Come Follow Me

My name is Erik Gray. I am 19 years old, a three-time cancer fighter, a runner, and a Mormon— meaning that I am member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was born in California, but have lived in Cedar City, Utah, my whole life. Growing up, I loved to explore new things and make new friends.  I grew up with a large number of Mormons and was always surrounded with good examples. I was born into an active and involved Latter-day Saint family. This means that since I was born, my family has been involved with our church and attended meetings weekly. My faith and testimony — what I know and what I believe about the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ —have helped me in my lifetime, especially with the challenges I have been faced with.

In December 2008, when I was a freshman in high school, I noticed a lump on my neck under my right jaw. I didn’t really think anything of it at first, but I had a feeling it needed to be checked out. My doctor prescribed some antibiotic, and it changed a little bit but mostly stayed the same size, and the doctor dismissed it. A year later, in December 2009, I went back to the doctor after noticing a few miniscule lumps along with the lump already there. My doctor set up for a biopsy and removed the lump. On December 22, 2009, I was officially diagnosed with Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma —or in simpler terms, cancer of the salivary glands.

I underwent a major surgery in January 2010 followed by three months of radiation to the affected area in my neck. In July of that year, I officially achieved remission. But only a year and a half later, in January 2012, I noticed a few lumps in my neck, this time close to my Adam’s apple. My fear had been realized; I was again diagnosed with Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma. I underwent a surgery followed by scans every few months.

I thought that my trial with cancer was over, but in November 2012, I was found to have a recurrence of the cancer. This time, it was a little more severe. A month later, I went through a 13 1/2 hour surgery. Because the cancer was found in my jaw bone, the bone was replaced by the fibula taken out from my left leg. I am currently in the middle of reconstructive surgeries, and I look forward to the day when I will again achieve remission.

This trial has strengthened my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ immensely. I have faith that trial was allowed to happen for a reason. I have faith that the Lord has a plan for me. Although I do know what it entails and that it may not be exactly what I want, I am willing to go and do whatever the Lord has planned for me. Yes, at times I am scared, especially with my diagnosis, but I have faith. Faith guides me through the hard times, and I know that everything I’m facing has a reason, and either I or someone around me will be blessed because of me keeping my faith in the Lord.
It has also shown me that our Heavenly Father, and His son, Jesus Christ, are mindful of our situations and are watching out for us. It seems almost unheard of that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ would allow such trials as mine to happen, and although it must be hard to watch me suffer, it happens because this trial allows me to grow. I know this because I look to the example of Joseph Smith, Jr., the first prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. With the help of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, he restored the true church of Jesus Christ back on the Earth. The true message had been lost  from the Earth for a long time, because it had been changed so much from the truth. Joseph Smith was persecuted by many, called foolish and visionary. He received instruction, guidance, and scripture from the Lord, called revelations, which were recorded and are today called the Doctrine & Covenants.My trials have shown me the importance of family. As Mormons, we believe that families can be together forever, even after death. I know that despite what happens to me or any other family members, if we obey God’s commandments and live righteously, we can live together again after this life on Earth.

One revelation was received by Joseph Smith during the winter of 1839, while he and others were imprisoned in Liberty Jail, and his followers were being driven out of the state of Missouri.  He was pleading with God because of his own suffering and the suffering of the Latter-day Saints.  In the 122nd section, verse 7, it lists a numerous amount of bad “what if” situations, such as “be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers… and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee,” but then the Lord says, “all these things shall give thee experience, and be for thy good.” The Lord allowed bad events to happen to Joseph Smith because he grew from those experiences. This scripture gives me good comfort. Instead of thinking, Why me? I realize that the Lord wants me to grow, and once my trial is over, I will be a better person because of it.

My testimony has grown substantially. I can testify that we are literal children of our Heavenly Father and that He loves us, no matter what we do and no matter the mistakes we make. He is mindful of our situations. We are put on this earth to grow physically and spiritually, and I am grateful that the Lord loves me enough to allow hard challenges to come my way, knowing that I have the ability to overcome them. I know for myself that I am a member of His true church and that my life is important. I am not just another kid, another cancer patient, another boy. I am Erik Gray, and I am a son of God.

This article was written by Erik Gray, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

My name is Erik Gray. I’m 19 years old live in Utah. I’m a college student and three-time cancer fighter. I love running, graphic design, and being with friends and family. My favorite sports are football, basketball, and of course, running. In my spare time I like to watch movies, be with family, and spend time with friends. For my future career, I want to be a graphic designer or a motivational speaker, or maybe both. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that by being a member of His church and living righteously, I can return to live with Him someday. I hope to use my testimony and experiences to help others with what they’re going through and share the glorious message of the Gospel.

Additional Resources:

Mormon Families

Famous Mormons

Meet Real Mormons

In a recent youth video filmed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (mistakenly referred to as the Mormon Church by members of other faiths), 19-year-old Caleb Ceran shares his testimony of the 2013 youth theme, “Stand Ye in Holy Places.” In the video he shares how the plan of salvation has helped him to see the blessings that can come through trials.

On Christmas Eve in 2006, while the family was driving home from a cast party for Hale Center Theatre’s production of “A Christmas Carol,” Ceran’s life was drastically changed in an instant when his mother, brother, and sister were killed in a tragic car accident.

Ceran recalls certain events just before the accident that he would later recognize as blessings.

“It was really interesting because my older brother, who passed away in the accident, was able to go and see some of his very best friends just before he died,” Ceran said. “He saw one of his best friends in a store, and he got to talk to him, and then he saw one of his other best friends in a ballet performance.” [1]

Ceran also recalls how he was able to spend time with his 7-year-old sister Julianna shortly before she was killed. “Before the accident, it seemed like everybody was kind of coming together, like people were able to say goodbye without even knowing it,” Ceran said. [1] He doesn’t remember a lot of the details of the accident, but he clearly remembers when his father came to tell him about the passing of his family members. “My dad told me we’d been in a really bad accident, and instantly my thoughts turned to my mom, Ian and Julianna,” Ceran said. [1]

As his dad gave him the news that three members of the family had been killed in the accident, Ceran said that he felt what he describes as an “overwhelming peace.” With a single tear wetting his cheek, he turned to his father and said, “It’s OK, Dad, we’re still a family.”

This was not the first time that Ceran had dealt with the loss of a loved one. He had in fact experienced the loss of five other siblings: three all under the age of 2 from a malignant brain tumor and twins who died at birth. Because of his strong LDS background, he was taught and grew up believing that families are eternal – that is, families can be together forever. The moment that he received the news that he had lost two more siblings and his mother, his testimony of forever families was reaffirmed with an “overwhelming peace” that has never left him. Instead of feeling anger and remorse, he was grateful for a merciful Father in Heaven who would reunite his mother with the five children who had passed away years earlier.

“I knew at that moment that God loved every one of us,” Ceran said. “There is no way my mom could have handled losing two more of her children. I can’t think of a better Christmas present for her than to see her children again.” [1]

Being able to forgive the drunk driver that caused the accident has also been a major blessing in Ceran’s life that has enabled him to move forward.

“I’ve never even thought to be angry at him, which sometimes makes me feel like I’m not a normal person,” Ceran said. “I hope that one day he’ll be able to find that hope and joy and find forgiveness through the Savior, so he can live a meaningful life.” [1]

Ceran strives to stay close to his mom, Ian and Julianna by trying to follow Jesus Christ and live His teachings, often thinking about what his mom would think of his life or if she would be proud of him. “I feel like those people beyond the veil are guiding me,” Ceran said.

He looks to his father as an example when it comes to being grateful rather than

questioning God. Instead of asking, “Why are you doing this to me?” or “Why are you not blessing me when I’m doing what’s right?”, Gary Ceran asks this question:

“Why are you trying to make me more like you?” [1] It is this perspective on life that has helped the Cerans to understand why they go through the trials and adversities in life that they do.

Ceran also cherishes the relationship he maintains with his 25-year-old sister, Clarissa, and his dad (the two other survivors of the accident), as well as new family members. In March of 2008, his father remarried, and a stepmother, Corrine Peterson, and four step-siblings joined the Ceran family. “I can’t even express how blessed I am that I have two amazing moms,” Ceran said.

In October of 2010, the family hosted four orphans from Ukraine for two weeks. After spending days attempting to communicate using a few words from each of the two tongues, the Ceran’s decided they wanted to adopt three of the children who were siblings. They were able to raise the $51,000 they needed by having garage sales and selling items door-to-door in different neighborhoods. Caleb was even able to sell the portrait he drew of President Thomas S. Monson for just more than $2,000.

During the adoption process, changes in Ukrainian laws attempted to ban Americans from adopting in that country, but after two trips to Ukraine, the Cerans returned with their three newest children: 14-year-old Christina, 11-year-old Alex and 9-year-old Jacob. “They are honestly some of my best friends,” Ceran said, speaking of his three new siblings. “I feel like I’m in a movie or something. It’s just too good to be true that we have them.” [1]

During his senior year of high school, Ceran began to struggle with resurfacing emotions of loss and to feel pain he’d never experienced before. Although he felt like a truly happy person, he realized he hadn’t completely been able to heal from his recent loss.

“Those pains and sufferings that I felt really helped me feel close to the Savior, and now I have so much more compassion for others,” Ceran said. “One of the greatest blessings of my trials has been to speak with other people who have dealt with trials.” [1]

It is through his times of trouble that Ceran has relied on prayer, scripture study, and playing the piano to bring him peace and comfort. He recently recorded a CD which will be released in the coming weeks. The proceeds from the sale of the CD will be used to help fund his LDS mission. One of the songs from the CD titled Part of Me has already been released on YouTube. The song was dedicated to the memory of his mother and his best friend who moved to Germany after high school graduation. Ceran says that the song is in essence his way of saying thank you to these two important people in his life, how grateful he is for the way that they inspired him, and that he will never forget them.

Additional Resources:

Mormon Families

The Meaning of Life

Worship with Mormons

Valentine’s Day can be a hard day if you’re alone. I personally don’t give much heed to the commercialized holiday, even though I’m happily married. I recognize that it was created to generate revenue for industry and that all the hype around Valentine’s Day puts a lot of emphasis on the wrong things in healthy relationships. For instance, I would far rather have a significant other show me frequently how he feels about me than just wait for one day a year to spend a lot of money and effort making a big gesture. Big gestures tend to make me nervous, feeling like they’re covering up or compensating for something.

All of this aside, I can also understand why, if you are single and don’t wish to be, Valentine’s Day can just feel like someone shoving in your face that you’re not good enough. This is a dangerous road to go down, but is also an understandable one. I would like to share a few thoughts about why you should not let yourself get discouraged.

The core of my self-worth comes from the sure knowledge that I am a child of God. I know that as His child, I have inherent value. This doesn’t mean that my life is always cheery and that I am always on cloud nine, but it does give me a great deal of comfort when things aren’t coming up roses, as it were. Knowing that I have value as a child of God is a constant reminder that, no matter how hard things may be, I still have something to offer the world.

There are people close to me who are struggling in this situation right now. They feel frustrated because they want to be married, and their best efforts are seemingly having no effect. This can produce thoughts of, “What’s wrong with me? Why can other people find love and I can’t? I must not have anything to offer, because no one wants me.” These thoughts have only one source: the adversary. There is no quicker way to attack someone than by hitting their self-esteem. Fortunately, the holy scriptures tell us that we are never alone and that we all have value.

“For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rereward” (Isaiah 52:12). God loves you and He is surrounding you. Rely on Him and He will not only protect you, but He will bear you up and ease your burdens.

God has told us that we exist with the purpose of having joy (2 Nephi 2:25). He wants us to be genuinely happy. If having a fulness of joy later means that you have to suffer a little loneliness now, isn’t it ultimately worth it? Things happen on the Lord’s timeline, not on ours. It is easy for us to get discouraged and to wish that we had things now that we just know would make us happy. Sometimes, though, the Lord knows that having what we think would make us happy now will actually not bring us as much joy as what He has planned for us later. It is never easy to say, “Thy will be done,” and to put our faith in the Lord that what He has planned for us will be even better than what we want now. However, I promise you that if you can truly humble yourself and say to Him, “This is what I want now, but if you have something better planned, I will do my best to be happy anyway and wait for your blessings,” that He will bless you more than you can even imagine.

If you carry on with your life trying to be a good person, reaching out to others in selflessness and love, then God will bless you. It is not easy to hear, “Be patient. All good things come to those who wait.” But have faith that God is there for you. Turn to Him and feel His love. Share that love with others. You have value. You have worth. You have a lot to offer the world.

This article was written by Doris White,  a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Additional Resources:

LDS Weddings

The Meaning of Life

Worship with Mormons

Few high school students turn their backs on full scholarships to college, particularly if they are seen as championship-quality athletes. Alex Simms talked to coaches and gave it a lot of thought, but in the end, he chose to honor a promise he’d made to God since he was a young child. He decided to serve a voluntary, unpaid two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose members are often nicknamed Mormons.

This isn’t an easy decision and many Mormons choose college instead. However, Simms has a track record of putting God first. Despite the demands of high school and football, the Southe Point, South Carolina teenager got up early every morning to attend a before-school off-campus class about religion. The class, called Seminary, trains high school students in the scriptures canonized by Mormons. Two years are spent on the Bible, one on the Doctrine and Covenants, and one on the Book of Mormon. He has been preparing for this mission all his life by choosing to live a morally clean life despite the usual challenges of peer pressure and by studying his faith.

Initially, he intended to leave on his mission when he was nineteen, the minimum age for male missionary service. However, recently, Mormons lowered the ages of missionary service for both men and women. Men can now leave on their missions as soon as they are eighteen if they have graduated from high school. While they can also choose to leave later, Alex Simms decided to take advantage of the earlier date. His parents left the decision to him. Missionary service is encouraged, but not required. When he returns from his mission, he will choose a college and return to football.

Read about Alex Simms’ Mormon mission

Mormon missions are an important coming-of-age experience for young Mormons. At a time when most young people are focused on parties and dates, at an age when some are making choices that ruin or end their lives, young Mormons agree to spend a few years focused on nothing but serving Jesus Christ.  They live by very strict rules—no dating, no secular music or television, no internet except for church-approved online missionary work and weekly emails to their parents, and no video games. They rise early and work hard all day. They live on a tight budget and when not teaching the gospel or studying it, they are expected to serve others. They have one day a week off in which to do laundry, chores, and perhaps a game of basketball to stay in shape.

This time develops self-discipline, independence, and a sense of accomplishment that pays off in their adult lives. It helps to explain why Mormons do so well in business. (See Mormons in Business.) It also explains why young adult Mormons are more likely to remain active in their faith than are other young adults. They had the opportunity to spend a few years focused entirely on Jesus Christ and the teachings of their faith. Because they are never alone—they share an apartment with another missionary of the same gender and the two stay together at all times—and partnerships are rotated regularly, they learn to live with others who have different personalities and preferences. This enhances their relationship skills and prepares them for marriage, which requires the ability to share your life with someone who is not just like you. Mormons who marry in the Mormon temple have a lower rate of divorce than other segments of the American population. Living in a new country or state helps them to be more flexible and accepting of others.

However, the primary purpose of the mission is to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Young Mormons are expected to learn about their faith and to pray to God for a testimony of it. Then they take that God-given testimony to the world and help others to discover what they know. It is a unique opportunity for young people to escape the self-centered life of young adulthood and focus on the greater good of the world.

Learn more about Mormon missionaries.