by Jessica

Abortion is probably one of the touchiest subjects that is brought up amongst the women in and outside of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But it’s also an essential topic of discussion, which should be gone over with every person.

Abortion, the taking of life, is one of the most grievous of sins. We have repeatedly affirmed the position of the Church in unalterably opposing all abortions, except in two rare instances: When conception is the result of forcible rape and when competent medical counsel indicates that a mother’s health would otherwise be seriously jeopardized. The Church maintains this stance thirty years later. Even when one of the rare extenuating circumstances arises, the Church counsel’s women that abortion is still a gravely serious matter which should be considered only after having consulted with local church leaders and after fervently praying to know if the decision is correct (President Spencer W. Kimball).

A few years ago, I was listening to a speech given by a political figure on the subject of abortion. His view as a father was that if his daughter had a child out of wedlock, he would not make his daughter suffer the consequences of her actions, that he would allow her to have a abortion if she so desired. There are several arguments about when a child is actually considered a living being. Most believe that someone is not considered a living being until they are born. The Lord has taught, through revelation to His prophets, that we existed as spirits before being born on earth, so our lives and identities are eternal. A human being has this unique identity even before it is formed, and once it starts to grow inside the mother’s womb, and eliminating a pregnancy is considered an act close to that of murder.

As it says in the above quote by President Kimball, there are only a few exceptions that can justify abortion. Even in those situations, prayer and thorough consideration is necessary. Adoption is a favorable choice for mothers to make and gives the child a chance to be raised in a loving and complete family. Even if they don’t get adopted, they can go on to live a full and prosperous life.

I had a friend a High School, who made a few poor decisions after High school and became pregnant, by a boy who was not responsible and did not have the greatest morals. When I found out, she and I had a long conversation about what she was going to do. She knew that her boyfriend was not going to do the right thing, and when she told her parents, they kicked her out of the house. She talked to me about the possibility of having an abortion. I told her “It’s not fair, that you should make a child suffer for something that was not its fault. Give it a chance to live, whether it’s with you, or with another family.” When I said that to her, she began to cry into her hands. Not another word was uttered that night. We didn’t talk for about two weeks after that. I was afraid that I had said something that offended her, or upset her. After those two weeks of silence between us, she called me and told me that when I talked about her child, she could see its smiling face and knew that it deserved to live.

That’s the view on abortion, in the Church and for me. Every being deserves to live, every being has a purpose in this world and it should not be decided to shorten that life, because of poor decisions that another made.

“Most abortions are performed on demand to deal with unwanted pregnancies. These abortions are simply a form of birth control. Elective abortion has been legalized in many countries on the premise that a woman is free to choose what she does with her own body. To an extent this is true for each of us, male or female. We are free to think. We are free to plan. And we are free to do. But once an action has been taken, we are never free from its consequences. To understand this concept more clearly, we can learn from the astronaut. Anytime during selection or preparation, he or she is free to withdraw from the program. But once the spacecraft has lifted off, the astronaut is bound to the consequences of the previous choice to make the journey. So it is with people who choose to embark on a journey that leads to parenthood. They have freedom of choice—to begin or not to begin that course. When conception does occur, that choice has already been made. Yes, a woman is free to choose what she will do with her body. Whether her choice leads to an astronaut’s mission or to a baby, her choice to begin the journey binds her to the consequences of that choice. She cannot ‘unchoose.’” (The LDS Perspective on Abortion, quoted from Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless, Russell M. Nelson, Ensign — October 2008, 32–37)

There’s a new video in YouTube that is a re-enactment of a true story. A girl left her purse at a church dance. She was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You might have heard of members of this church being called Mormons. This is a nickname it’s okay to use when talking about the people who belong, but it’s not the actual name of the church.

The adult leaders who found the purse needed to find out who it belonged to so they could return it. There was no identification outside the purse, and they hated to snoop, but there was no choice. To see as little as possible, they reached in and pulled out just one item. They figured they’d see as little as possible before finding identification.

The first thing they found was a booklet called “For the Strength of Youth.” This is a booklet given to Mormon teenagers that remind them of the moral standards God wants them to live by. Even though there was no name on the pamphlet, the leaders realized it told them something important about the girl—she cared so much about living the way God asked her to live she even brought the standards with her to dances.

The next item they looked at was a notebook. They were sure that would have some identifying information in it. However, it turned out to have six pages of scriptures in it—it was a list of the girl’s favorite scriptures. Again, although they still didn’t know her name, they knew she loved to study her scriptures.

Every item they pulled out of her purse told them more about what kind of girl owned the purse. They found things that showed she was artistically creative, that she loved to serve others, that she was neat, and that she was domestic. She was prepared for emergencies. Finally they found her identification. They were happy to see what an incredible young lady she was, and they knew this by what was in a purse she never expected others to peer into.

If someone were to go through your purse, pockets, or backpack, if they were to search your school locker or your bedroom, if they were to read your journal…what would they learn about you? Would they find you to be the person you portray yourself to be, or would they learn you were not the person they had thought you were? Would they be excited to learn your standards—even when you think no one is watching—or would they be sad and worried?

Even if your parents or complete strangers never go through your private things, God knows what is in them. What does He see when He peers into your private life? Are you proud of the person you are? Are you one person when others are watching and a different person when you’re alone? Are you one person to your friends and another to your parents and religious leaders?

A lot of times we divide our lives into little categories and we live differently depending on where we are and who we are with. However, to become a real person, we must be the same person all the time under every circumstances. When we are always the same, living by the same standards, people trust us more. They know they can depend on us in every situation. We are more genuine, more real.

To be a Christian, we have to be Christian all the time, not just when important people are watching. Jesus wants us to be like Him every minute of every day, no matter who we are with.

When my children were younger, one of them had a church teacher for a while who was very popular. She had just graduated from high school and had been head cheerleader and a prom or homecoming queen. She told the children in the church class she taught that summer that she had never once lowered her standards in order to be popular. She hadn’t felt a need to dress immodestly, use inappropriate language, or live differently than her family and her church had taught her to live. Even though this meant she didn’t wear all the latest fashions (even though she was always fashionably dressed) and even though she sometimes stayed home when her friends wanted to do something she knew was wrong, even though she never swore, cheated, or did other immoral things…everyone still liked her. She was still the most popular girl in school because she was a wonderful person, kind to everyone, dependable, and herself. No matter what situation she was in, she was always herself and she was always who God wanted her to be.

Take a few hours today to look through your purse, your backpack, your locker, and your bedroom. Pay attention to how you behave in every part of your life. Are you always the person God wants you to be?

I watched a YouTube video I just loved. Marissa is a singer from Hawaii. She sparkly and pretty and talented, but more than all of that, to me, she is a spiritual young woman. She’s seventeen and she wants to influence other people with music in the way it has influenced her. To do this, she started a music club at school, where students who care about having music that is wholesome in their lives can share that music by singing.

Marissa buys albums, but then she goes through them and listens to every word in every song. She deletes any song that chases away the Holy Spirit. She says no single song is worth losing the companionship of the Holy Ghost. For her, music is a strong spiritual influence and she says the words of a song will influence her actions, beliefs, and spirituality.

Watch the video and listen to Marissa talk about how music influences her. Then go listen to your own music library. What do you need to remove from your library?

It’s really a matter of priorities. I can’t think of any song that is more important to me than God is. My life won’t be ruined by getting rid of a song, even if I paid for it, but it will be ruined if I get rid of God or put other things first.

A really good article to read on this subject is A Closer Look at Popular Music by Lex de Azevedo. He’s a musician and although the article is pretty long, it has some really great information about the power of music. A lot of young people (I said it myself as a teenager before I became a Mormon and was shown the other side of the story) say the words don’t affect them because they don’t really listen to them. And yet, most of them are singing along to the words. We just can’t prevent that from entering into our minds and influencing who we become. Anything that stays in our head becomes a part of us, and the more we hear and sing that immoral things are okay, the more likely we are to believe it.

The author of this article says there is good and bad in every type of music, so it makes no sense to attack a particular type of music. Listen to what Brother Azevedo says about this:

In recent years, studies have substantiated these ancient ideas, demonstrating music’s effect on a myriad of bodily functions: pulse rate, respiration rate, blood pressure, galvanic skin responses, brain-wave impulses, muscle responses, finger coordination, and reading speed and comprehension.¹ One study suggests that certain rhythms actually have a weakening effect on the muscles of the body.²

A force so powerful that it can influence our hearts, our glands, and our muscles is a force to be reckoned with. The influence is significant enough that we should take care what kind of music we allow into our homes.

Music also has great power on our emotions. Music has been called the universal language because it speaks directly to our emotions. And our emotions and feelings influence our actions.”

He suggests we start paying more attention to the words in our music and also in how the music itself makes us feel. Even when you take the words away, some types of music can cause us to have inappropriate feelings. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable listening to the music if Jesus showed up and wanted to join you, you shouldn’t listen to it at all. Imagine yourself explaining to Him why this music will bring you closer to Him. Can you do it? If not, and if you can’t feel the Holy Ghost while you’re listening, consider getting rid of it.

There are billions of songs in the world. No one song matters so much that it’s worth giving up everything for. One thing the author suggests is that you become familiar with lots of different kinds of music. You may need some time to get used to styles of music you never listened to before, but in time, you’ll find some of them grow on you. The more types of music you like, the easier it is to find something spiritually safe.

So, watch the video, read the article…and go check out your music collection.

When Brad Wilcox was a missionary in Chile, a man whose teenage son was thinking about converting to Mormonism, asked “What do you get for becoming a Mormon?” Wilcox answered, “Oh, just a little thing—salvation.”

Of course, salvation isn’t a little thing at all, but it is the most important thing Mormonism offers. That wasn’t really of much interest to the father, though. He wanted to know what good it would do his son while he was still alive. Even from a temporal (your life on earth) standpoint, Mormon teens get a lot for being Mormon. You don’t get handed a door prize when you convert, but you will find yourself part of a religion that offers you a lot of rewards. Brad Wilcox outlined some of these to teenagers at Education Week, a religious conference, recently. Let’s look at some of the things he told Mormon teens they got just for being Mormon:

1. Mormons live ten to eleven years longer than the average person. There could be a lot of reasons for this. Mormons live by a health code and don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. They avoid a lot of risky behavior that leads to health problems. He joked that it might just be that the church keeps us pretty busy and we don’t have time to die.
2. Mormons are more likely to finish college than most people. They are thirty percent more likely to graduate, in fact. And they get educated in other ways, too. Mormons have more books and more musical instruments than most people and they are more likely to take music lessons. Mormons believe they get to take what they learn into Heaven with them, so it’s a good investment in our time—we can’t take the material things we get. Also, Mormons believe they should be able to take care of themselves, and being educated makes that easier to do.
3. Mormons have a lot of friends, even when they are brand new. We move a lot in my family, and my kids always walked in to an instant group of new friends, even if we moved mid-summer or while we were homeschooling. It made moving so much easier.
4. Your marriage has a better chance of surviving. Did you know that one in every two marriages in the United States ends in a divorce? If both people are the same religion, the odds improve. One in every four of those marriages end in divorce. But when Mormons marry and choose not to get married in the temple, only one in every six of those marriages will end in divorce. Not perfect, but a lot better than half. But it gets even better. Mormons are supposed to marry in the Mormon temple. Mormons believe marriage and family should last forever, even after death, so they tend to work really hard at their marriages and at being good parents. Those marriages are done in the temple and demonstrate that the couple is really living their religion to a high level and are committed to being married forever. Guess how many of those marriages end in divorce? One in twenty. You have so much better a chance of staying married if you choose a Mormon temple.

Brad Wilcox told the teens they aren’t missing out on anything by being Mormon. The things they choose not to do because of their beliefs are things that harm and devalue them in the long run. Instead they are gaining. Their moral choices allow them to have better and more faithful marriages, good health, a great brain and a rewarding life. He said, ““Yeah, it’s hard being a Mormon, but it’s a lot easier than being without it.”

For the complete article on this talk, see What Do You Get For Being a Mormon?”

Last week I talked about how much of Mormon history happened because of the great work of teenagers. Today I want to tell you about one of my favorite teenagers from Mormon history. Mormon is a nickname for people who belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She is a very famous Black Mormon.

Jane Elizabeth Manning, black Mormon pioneer

Jane Elizabeth Manning didn’t have an easy start in life. She was an African American when slavery was still legal. She had never been a slave, but she was sent away from home to work for a wealthy white family when she was only six years old. She lived in the home of her employer and the adult daughter in the home raised her—as a servant, not a daughter. Can you imagine being sent to live away from home and to work full-time when you’re so little?

When Jane was fourteen years old, she wanted to join a church. She chose the Presbyterian Church, but somehow felt it still wasn’t quite what she was looking for. One day, about a year and a half later, she heard that some Mormon missionaries were going to be preaching in the area. She mentioned it to her pastor, who ordered her not to go hear them, but she went anyway. As soon as she heard the things they taught, she knew it was exactly what she’d been searching for and she asked if she could be baptized. After her baptism, she went to work and helped many members of her family to join the church as well. Even though she was only a teenager, she was already showing that she had great leadership skills.

Today, Mormons stay wherever they lived before they were baptized. They live all over the world. But then, when the church was new, it was different. There weren’t that many Mormons and it was hard to communicate with them if they were spread all over the world. Since the church was new, everyone needed a lot of education to really understand what their church taught. It was easier to keep them all in one place. When people joined the church, they usually moved to wherever the church was in those days. Since Joseph Smith officially opposed slavery, black Mormons were welcome to live among the Mormons.

Jane had helped bring eight other members of her family to join the Mormon Church. There weren’t many Black Mormons then—they might have been the only ones in their area, since they were the only ones who traveled to the Mormons in their group. They started out in a racially mixed group, but when they reached the ferry, the company wanted the black Mormons to pay up front instead of at the other end as the rest did. Apparently, they expected to have money for the ferry at the other end of the trip—perhaps Mormons there paid it—and so they didn’t have the money to go on. Although the white Mormons were allowed on the ferry, the black Mormons were forced to walk the rest of the way. It was an eight hundred mile journey. Without question, that was a difficult trip, although, since Jane would later join the trek to Utah, it was probably good practice.

They had not come prepared to walk so far. They didn’t have enough supplies or the right clothing. Still, they never thought to turn back. They were determined to get to the Mormons. It was Jane, still a teenager, who led the group, even though many of the people in the group—including her mother—were adults. Since she began the trip about a year after her baptism, I’m guessing she was about sixteen when she led eight other people on a long journey.

It was October and very cold. Their feet starting bleeding so badly they could make a complete footprint in the snow that was covered in blood. They stopped and prayed until the feet healed. They didn’t have warm enough clothing and they were often very hungry. Instead of complaining about the conditions or the way they had been treated, they sang hymns as they walked.

They ran into a very scary and dangerous situation in Peoria, Illinois. When the officials saw a group of black people in ragged clothing traveling on foot together, they decided the people were runaway slaves. They demanded to see their freedom papers, proof that they had been freed from slavery by their masters. However, none of them had ever been slaves, so they didn’t have those papers. They tried to explain they were black Mormons traveling to Nauvoo, but it took a long time before anyone believed them and they were allowed to go.

Now they were scared. Every day they worried that they would be arrested again, maybe even made slaves, but they kept right on going, singing and praying. Finally they reached Nauvoo, the Mormon city. The little group of black Mormons was exhausted and hungry. The first person they saw told them to go right to Joseph Smith’s house. When they got to the house, his wife Emma was at the doorway. She saw them coming and asked them to come into the house. Joseph Smith was home and quickly added chairs to his dinner table and made sure they were fed their first good meal in a very long time. He moved his own chair to sit by Jane, because he had learned she was their leader. He asked her to tell him the story of how the group arrived there and what had happened to them.

Joseph and Emma invited the group to stay as guests in their home until they’d found jobs and homes of their own. It only took a week for everyone to find a job and a home—except for Jane. There seemed to be no jobs available for this teenager with so much courage and leadership. When she realized she was the only one left without a home or job, she began to cry. Joseph found her crying and reassured her she wouldn’t be put out on the street. Then he and his wife offered her a job with them. Emma asked her what she could do and she listed all her homemaking skills. (Remember she had been a household servant since she was six. It was her career.) She offered to start right away, but Emma insisted she rest and start in the morning. Since Jane liked doing laundry, that was what she was assigned to do first. In later years, when she found herself having to support herself and her children, she would take in laundry to earn money.

Jane continued to live with Joseph Smith and his family. When Joseph was murdered, the black Mormon woman moved into the home of Brigham Young and worked for him. Her brother would end up working for both Mormon prophets as well. When the Mormons went to Utah, Jane traveled in a lead group with Brigham Young’s household and would be one of the first people in the state. Her child would be the first Black Mormon born there.

Jane Elizabeth Manning was an amazing woman. She was always giving to help with special church projects, and when her friend had no food, Jane insisted on giving the woman half of her own, even though she herself had very little to feed her family. She became such an important person that she and her brother were given reserved seats at the front and center of the tabernacle for all important meetings. When she died, the prophet himself spoke at her funeral.

But it all started because Jane Elizabeth Manning was a teenager with courage, faith, and leadership skills. She stayed active in her church all her life and said at the end of it that her testimony was as strong as it had been when she was baptized. She was proud to be black, to be Mormon, and to be a black Mormon…a Mormon who has become a treasured part of Mormon history.

Take a quick look at your history textbook when school starts in the fall. Look in the index to find all the entries about Mormon history. Chances are, the pioneers and polygamy are the only things in it, leaving students with a very unbalanced and unrealistic look at how Mormons affected the history of the United States. It can also leave them with an incorrect understanding of Mormonism, especially if one of their literature assignments involves a popular book about a woman who left a polygamous group in modern times. The true name of the Mormon Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—Mormon is just a nickname. Today’s Mormons don’t practice polygamy, although some of them are still pioneering.

Mormon history should be very interesting to teenagers because so much of it involves teenagers. How many teenagers do you know who got to make history? Lots of Mormon teenagers did. In past blog entries, I’ve talked about Joseph Smith, the first president and prophet of the Mormons. Mormon history begins with him, and he was only a teenager when the story began. I’ve also talked about teenage pioneers from Mormon history. Some of them kept journals and many of them wrote their stories later, so today, we know the important role of teens in Mormon history. They were often heroes and Mormon history is filled with stories of their sacrifices and challenges. But you won’t find any of those wonderful teenagers in the typical history book. In fact, school textbooks often overlook the amazing contributions of teenagers in general.

How do we know about most of these teenagers in Mormon history? We know about most of them through their journals and personal histories. They didn’t know, when they were pioneers, that they were becoming part of American history and they never guessed their journals would be read and admired in our time. Do you keep a journal? Your life might look pretty ordinary to you, but in one hundred years, your experiences will seem amazing to people living in that time. They will be amazed at the hardships you faced without their technology and at your ability to get through hard moral times with your testimony of Jesus Christ intact and your values strong. Do a good job with your journal—and tell the truth—and you might become part of history. If you’re Mormon, make sure your journal includes lots of information about your life as a Mormon, because you just might find yourself a part of Mormon history.

I’m going to tell you now a little about a Mormon teenager from Mormon history who kept a great journal. The next entry will tell you about another teenager, although she didn’t keep a journal—but she did dictate her history to someone before she died. But today’s story is about a teenager named Jebulon Jacobs, a pioneer driver. Yes, he became famous for driving—but only because he kept a really great journal. His journal shows he had worked hard to learn good writing skills and he understood how to tell a great story. If you want to be remembered in Mormon history, learn how to write.

Jeb, as he was known, was a driver. Brigham Young, the second Mormon prophet, knew teenagers loved to drive then, just as they do today. So when he needed people to drive, he chose teens. Of course, they weren’t driving cars back then. They drove wagons and carriages pulled by horses. But it was driving all the same, and teen Mormon boys loved doing it.

Even after the first Mormon pioneers came to Utah, there were always new pioneers trying to get there. Brigham Young was always trying to find the best ways to help them and one of his ideas was to try “down and back” wagons—someone would drive a wagon down from Utah, pick up passengers in Nebraska, and drive them to Utah. Sounds like a taxi or a bus, right? Well, Zeb, who was a teenager at the time, was one of the pioneer taxi or bus drivers sent to help bring pioneers to Utah. He kept a diary of the experience that is considered one of the best pioneer journals we have.

Going out, they carried passengers who wanted to go east for one reason or another and also supplies. They left supplies along the route to be picked up when they were returning, so they could live more comfortably on the trip back when they needed the space for passengers. In Wyoming, he and the other “Utah Boys” stopped at a spot where earlier Mormon pioneers had been forced to stop due to snow. They had buried a lot of their things in order to lighten their load, hoping someone could collect them later on. Jeb and his friends dug up an entire piano, still in perfect condition!

Jeb drove the down and back runs for eighteen weeks. You can read about his adventures on the trail here:

Diary of a Teenage Driver

Now, what about your own diary? Be sure to keep it up and think about things people in the future might like to know about your life. You just might become a part of Mormon history, or even world history yourself as a result.

Whenever a new Mormon temple is built, the teenagers are asked to put together a special program of dance and music that demonstrates their cultural heritage. They present it for church leaders who come from Utah to dedicate the new temple to the Lord. This allows teens to explore their heritage, to gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and to make new friends who share their moral beliefs. It also allows them to have a part in what is a very important part of their religious heritage.

Teens in Hawaii had a chance to put on one of these celebrations recently. Watch this video to see them rehearsing, performing, and talking about their religious beliefs.

Sometimes, teenagers who have been taught that God expects us to live by high standards and to condemn sins wonder how they should react to people who live in different ways. What about tolerance?

Mormon leaders have talked about this a lot. Mormon is an informal nickname some people use when they’re talking about members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Most Mormons actually call themselves LDS (Latter-day Saints), not Mormons, although the Church has accepted that Mormon is more popular among people who aren’t Mormon. It refers to the Book of Mormon, which Mormons use along with the Bible.

One Mormon leader, Russell M. Nelson, explains that there is a difference between tolerance and tolerating. Knowing that difference can help us figure out how to live in a very diverse world. He suggests we look at Jesus’ life to help us understand how we should react to people who live lives we know are immoral.

When I read the New Testament, one of the things I notice is that Jesus didn’t just hang out with other Christians. He had a lot of friends and he spent a lot of time with people who didn’t live the commandments or who were considered inferior by others. I notice that he treated these people with respect.

For instance, most people in his time wanted nothing to do with Samarians. But Jesus intentionally traveled through Samaria and stopped to share the gospel with a Samarian woman at a well. He treated her with dignity and she responded by becoming a missionary for the gospel.

We can strengthen others by standing for truth and rigteousness.

You might remember the story about the woman everyone wanted to stone because she had sinned. They brought her to Jesus, hoping, no doubt, He would be shocked and horrified by her sin and maybe even help with—or at least approve—the stoning. What did He do instead? He suggested that the person in the group who had never sinned throw the first stone. Of course, He was the only person who fit that description, but He had no desire to stone her. Once the others, embarrassed, had left, Jesus spoke to her kindly, telling her He was not going to pass final judgment on her.

Even though He sent her on her way, it is really important to notice what else He did. He told her not to sin anymore. He didn’t say, “It’s her life. I need to be tolerant of how she chooses to live it.” What she had done was a sin and He made sure she understood that. However, He wasn’t willing to kill her over it or decide how she would be judged at the end of her life. By telling he she had sinned, but sending her away with a commandment to stop, He gave her a chance to repent, to change her life before she died and faced final judgment.

Jesus never did just accept sin because it was the politically correct thing to do. When He saw sin, He put a stop to it. He cleared the temple. He spoke up even to political leaders and powerful community people. He did not tolerate sin. But He was tolerant, in that He treated people who sinned with dignity. He could love them as people without accepting their sins. He didn’t say “You have a right to live any way you want, even if it hurts you and even if it hurts others.”

There is a difference between the sin and the sinner. You’ve probably heard people say we must condemn the sin, but love the sinner. This is what Jesus did.

Some sins hurt other people and some only hurt the sinner directly (although all of society suffers when sin is in the world) but we know we can’t just let people do whatever they want to do because it’s “their life.” The reason we have laws is because we understand our country works better when we set standards and make people live by them. The reason parents have rules is because it is their job to set standards and to protect their children.

When you were little, your parents didn’t let you cross the street alone because they knew it would put you into physical danger. Today, they might have rules about coming home at a certain time or even about what kinds of friends you can have. They aren’t trying to ruin your fun. They are trying to keep you safe. Sometimes they are keeping you physically safe, but other times, they are keeping you morally safe. God is that kind of parent.

The thing is that this life is only a small part of your entire life. The longest parts of your life happened before you were born, when you lived with God and started becoming who you are now, and the time after you die. After you die, you’ll live forever, and how you live depends a lot on the choices you make today. Jesus taught over and over that there will be a judgment day when the sins we don’t’ repent of will be punished. He said that only people who kept His commandments would get to be with God after death. Your parents are trying their best to help you live in a way that will allow you to live with God someday. That means they sometimes make rules that are protecting your eternal life.

So how do you apply all this when you’re out in the world surrounded by people who are living lives you know are wrong? Let’s look at a few examples and wonder how Jesus would handle it.

One thing Mormons do is to make it clear that temptations and behavior aren’t the same thing. We can’t choose what we are tempted by or inclined towards. We can choose how we act. An alcoholic who is still drinking is committing a sin. If he stops drinking, but still craves alcohol, he is not sinning—as long as he doesn’t take a drink. He can control the actions, not the cravings. Homosexual tendencies are not a sin; homosexual behavior is. We can be kind and respectful when we are with people who are homosexuals because they are God’s children and therefore deserving of respect. We don’t have to respect their sins, however, nor do we have to encourage them. Jesus didn’t and so we shouldn’t. We may have friends who smoke and we will love them and treat them kindly, but we don’t have to let them smoke around us. We can love our friends who drink, but we don’t have to—and must not—serve alcohol at our parties just to “prove” we are tolerant.

If you had friends who were doing things you knew was very dangerous—dating an abusive boyfriend, for instance, or drinking, or going into dangerous neighborhoods–you would try your best to stop them. Spiritual danger is more serious than physical danger. You can show love to a person and treat him or her with respect while not respecting those dangerous choices.

At school and in your daily activities, you will meet a lot of people who live in ways you know are wrong. You don’t have to stay at a party where teens are drinking just to show you are tolerant. You don’t even have to tell them they are welcome to live that way. You do have to treat them kindly, help them when they are in trouble, and be respectful of them as people—but you don’t have to respect their sins.

Next time, we’re going to talk about tolerance in terms of religion—how do we live in a religiously diverse world?

A Mormon apostle taught that all of God’s children wear the same jersey–we’re all on the same team. Watch this true story of two high school football players who play for rival teams but are the very best of friends. They are changing each other’s lives for the better.

When thirteen-year-old Spencer was called to be the president of his deacon’s quorum, he took the job seriously. A deacon is a member of the Mormon priesthood. Mormons have a different kind of priesthood than most churches because every worthy boy or man who is at least twelve-years-old can hold the priesthood. There are different levels and deacons are first. Boys are usually deacons when they are twelve and thirteen.

The boys meet in quorums, or groups, on Sundays and usually one weekday as well, based on the level of priesthood they hold. Each quorum has a president, two counselors (similar to vice-presidents) and a secretary. All these positions are held by the boys themselves. Adult leaders are assigned to teach and supervise the groups, but the boys lead themselves under the supervision of the adults.

Spencer understood that being the president meant he was to watch over all the other boys in his quorum and to make sure they were taken care of. While it might be easy and fun to look after your closest friends, a deacon quorum president is expected to become friends with all the boys in order to know what they most need.

In Spencer’s quorum was a boy named Dayton. Dayton has cerebral palsy. He can’t walk and can’t communicate except to blink for yes and not blink for no. A lot of teenagers would find it too hard to become friends with someone who could not communicate, but not Spencer. The two boys became good friends.

One day Spencer, who enjoys doing triathlons, had an idea. He always thought Dayton should get to do all the things other kids his age got to do, and so, he decided Dayton needed to race in a triathlon. He asked Dayton if he’d like to do that and Dayton blinked to show he would.

How do you do a triathlon when you can’t walk or even sit up alone? Well, you need a friend to help out. Spencer had some help in getting the supplies he needed to be the person who helped. First, they created a special bicycle with a cart attached. Spencer would ride the bike and Dayton would be right behind in the cart. That would take care of the bicycle portion of the triathlon. There was also a swimming portion so Spencer had to swim pulling an inflatable boat holding Dayton. When he did the running portion, he pushed Dayton’s wheelchair.

As you can imagine, this was very hard work. Triathlons are difficult when you race them alone, but to push and pull another person as you go makes it exceptionally hard. Spencer noticed he had to work so much harder and near the end, he felt he had nothing left with which to finish the race. But from somewhere deep inside himself, he found the energy and finished the race.

He didn’t win, of course, with the extra challenge of another person. He came in 82^nd, although he did finish first in the relay. Or, we should say, they finished 82^nd and 1^st.  Spencer considered this Dayton’s race and was puzzled to be called a hero. To him, Dayton was the hero.

Jesus taught us to take of those in need, to be loving friends to everyone, to serve. He served and had a special fondness for people with disabilities. The Bible tells us of a blind man who often sat on the side of the road, begging. When he heard Jesus was coming, he was determined to meet him and to ask for a gift of healing. He tried calling out to Jesus but other people told him to stop and to not bother Jesus. In their minds, the blind man wasn’t important enough to bother someone as special as Jesus.

However, Jesus heard the calls and asked for the man to be brought to him. The blind man was suddenly nervous, but the apostles encouraged him to go ahead and approach Jesus. He did and Jesus lovingly and respectfully asked how he could help the man. The man asked for his sight and Jesus praised him for his great faith. He told the man it was his faith that had healed him. Imagine the lesson learned when people realized this man, whom they all thought was unimportant, had faith so great as to bring about a miracle.

And imagine the lessons people learned when they watched Spencer give up any real chance of winning the triathlon and as they watched him struggle to help his friend be able to experience the thrill of a triathlon. Not only did Spencer help Dayton, the story of his great and Christlike gift is helping teenagers and even adults learn how to be more like Jesus.

Watch the video of Dayton’s legs.