In real life, the kids I taught agreed, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes your friends will make fun of you for refusing to participate, thinking of you as a baby. Sometimes you even wind up losing friends over it. There are a lot of teenagers who consider that a good reason to just go along with the crowd. They consider their popularity and friendships to be their top priority.

Christian teens know that Jesus Christ is supposed to be their priority. They also know it’s not always easy to make Him the priority, especially when it threatens their friendships or popularity. For many teens, though, the realization of what Jesus experienced is enough to give them the courage to stand up for their beliefs. They remember that when Jesus lived on earth, He was made fun of all the time. They called Him names and even beat Him. It is likely that even as a teenager, He encountered people who thought His perfect life was boring and stupid and that He faced teasing from His friends for not going along with the crowd. Jesus was, after all, a teenager once. Although He was perfect, He was perfect by choice. He could have sinned, could have gone along with the crowd….He just didn’t. He put God first.

If Jesus could endure the mocking, the beatings, and even murder rather than deny His faith, we can find it in ourselves to stand up to our peers when they want us to lower our standards. The teen years are hard, but the truth is that adults face the same pressures from friends, family, and bosses. The skills we learn as teenagers can help us get through the adult challenges to our moral standards.

And when it comes down to it….do you really want friends who have no respect for you? It may be time to find some new friends who will strengthen and support you when others are tearing you down.

The adult leaders who found the purse needed to find out who it belonged to so they could return it. There was no identification outside the purse, and they hated to snoop, but there was no choice. To see as little as possible, they reached in and pulled out just one item. They figured they’d see as little as possible before finding identification.

The first thing they found was a booklet called “For the Strength of Youth.” This is a booklet given to Mormon teenagers that remind them of the moral standards God wants them to live by. Even though there was no name on the pamphlet, the leaders realized it told them something important about the girl—she cared so much about living the way God asked her to live she even brought the standards with her to dances.

The next item they looked at was a notebook. They were sure that would have some identifying information in it. However, it turned out to have six pages of scriptures in it—it was a list of the girl’s favorite scriptures. Again, although they still didn’t know her name, they knew she loved to study her scriptures.

Every item they pulled out of her purse told them more about what kind of girl owned the purse. They found things that showed she was artistically creative, that she loved to serve others, that she was neat, and that she was domestic. She was prepared for emergencies. Finally they found her identification. They were happy to see what an incredible young lady she was, and they knew this by what was in a purse she never expected others to peer into.

If someone were to go through your purse, pockets, or backpack, if they were to search your school locker or your bedroom, if they were to read your journal…what would they learn about you? Would they find you to be the person you portray yourself to be, or would they learn you were not the person they had thought you were? Would they be excited to learn your standards—even when you think no one is watching—or would they be sad and worried?

Even if your parents or complete strangers never go through your private things, God knows what is in them. What does He see when He peers into your private life? Are you proud of the person you are? Are you one person when others are watching and a different person when you’re alone? Are you one person to your friends and another to your parents and religious leaders?

A lot of times we divide our lives into little categories and we live differently depending on where we are and who we are with. However, to become a real person, we must be the same person all the time under every circumstances. When we are always the same, living by the same standards, people trust us more. They know they can depend on us in every situation. We are more genuine, more real.

To be a Christian, we have to be Christian all the time, not just when important people are watching. Jesus wants us to be like Him every minute of every day, no matter who we are with.

When my children were younger, one of them had a church teacher for a while who was very popular. She had just graduated from high school and had been head cheerleader and a prom or homecoming queen. She told the children in the church class she taught that summer that she had never once lowered her standards in order to be popular. She hadn’t felt a need to dress immodestly, use inappropriate language, or live differently than her family and her church had taught her to live. Even though this meant she didn’t wear all the latest fashions (even though she was always fashionably dressed) and even though she sometimes stayed home when her friends wanted to do something she knew was wrong, even though she never swore, cheated, or did other immoral things…everyone still liked her. She was still the most popular girl in school because she was a wonderful person, kind to everyone, dependable, and herself. No matter what situation she was in, she was always herself and she was always who God wanted her to be.

Take a few hours today to look through your purse, your backpack, your locker, and your bedroom. Pay attention to how you behave in every part of your life. Are you always the person God wants you to be?

Lately I have been hyper-aware of the fact that the world has nothing to offer us for eternity. Let me describe what I mean by “the world” and by “eternity.” If you are not a Latter-day Saint, a little background might help you understand what I am trying to illustrate.

“The world” is a term that I like to use for pretty much everything we see in our world. It includes the fashion magazines showing me which hairstyles and types of clothing I should be wearing this season. It includes the latest and greatest entertainment technology. It includes the many commercials and ads that bombard me at every turn, trying to interest me in buying the newest car or getting plastic surgery to enhance my appearance.  The world is basically the realm of everything that is offered by the world and available for purchase with money.

We have all heard the old saying that when you die you can’t take anything with you. This is an appropriate segway into my description of what is eternal. Eternally we can only take a few things.

We can take all the knowledge that we have gained in this lifetime. We will also have the same personality and attitude when we cross over into the after-life. If we have addictions here, we will still have them there, but it will be embarrassing and frustrating, since we will not be able to actually fulfill those addictions and, with futility, we will try anyway.  We will also have all of our relationships that we have here on the earth. That is why it is crucial to make sure our relationships are wholesome and respectful.  Since everyone we meet on this earth will live for eternity, it would do us well to take care of our relationships.

Being here in this world gives all of us an opportunity to sift through what is good and what is pointless, what is helpful and what is wicked. We have different situations we must endure and a plethora of decisions to make all along the way. Bad things do happen to good people, and what we do with those things is our test. It is also our opportunity to grow and become someone better than we were before that happened. If we mess up the first time around, Jesus Christ, our advocate with God Almighty, our Father in Heaven, has provided a way for us to change our ways and to get it right the next time.

If we live only in “the world,” we miss out on some of the greatest epiphanies that would have been ours if we had given some time and thought to our spiritual self and our spiritual well-being.   An “epiphany” is a sudden realization that changes the way we look at things, and many such moments of enlightenment come directly from God.

It does seem a little overwhelming that the God of heaven and earth is aware of me as an individual. Sometimes I just want to ignore that fact and bury myself in my work or in playing video games. I mean, for me to think that the same eternal and omnipotent God who created Cleopatra and Socrates and the dinosaurs and an unlimited amount of great leaders in history, also created me and knows me by name is just a bit over the top. He knew me before I was born. He knows me now. He knows all the stupid mistakes I have made. He knows what I am going to do next. He knows I am writing this article. He knows how and when I am going to die. He knows if I have love in my heart for my fellow man. When I kneel to pray to this God, the father of Jesus, my Heavenly Father, who knows everything about me (and you), I sometimes don’t know what to say. I figure I am wasting His time and mine because He already knows what I am going to say.

Am I going to ask for a new car or a good plastic surgeon? Should I ask for a lot of money to fall into my lap so I can buy a big house or a boat?  Do those things really matter when I am talking to the most illustrious of all beings in the Universe as we know it?

And here’s what I know to be true: I know that He hears my prayers. A reverent awe comes over me, as I recollect the many prayers which He has answered.  I have had many prayers answered that could not have been coincidence. I also know that when seemingly bad things have happened in my life, there was a reason for them. I know, in retrospect, that I grew from those experiences, even though at the time they were very hard to endure. The other day my sister said to me, “You seem very peaceful.” I think it is because I am realizing that most of what I normally worry about in this world is insignificant when I consider eternity and my eternal existence. I am learning to live with me and what I will take with me, when it is my time to meet God face to face.  I don’t think it will be very soon. I am just starting to get it.

So, when I say that the world has nothing to offer us for eternity, I mean that there is a bigger picture, if only we can let ourselves recognize God in our lives. He does love us. He does know us. And I saw a billboard by the side of the road last week that said “When we die, we will see God.” That’s all it said. What a great reminder that He is there for us and we will see Him again! How much it will make our lives more robust and full, if we can start to “see” that God is there for us and that the things of this world have little value in the long run, eternally.

First, a little about Shannon. Then I’ll tell you one of the things I find really impressive about her.

Shannon Hale is a Mormon who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. She was the middle child in a family of five children and she always loved making up stories. At first, she’d act them out with her sisters, but in fourth grade, she learned how to write her stories on paper for others to read and that’s when she decided to become a writer. She was pretty sensitive, so she found the social part of grade school hard and ended up crying at home a lot. Things got better, though. In junior high school she was on the staff for the school literary magazine and met her first professional author, Dean Hughes. She was also in drama class, even though she never got chosen for the school plays.

She enjoyed high school a lot more. She felt her school was pretty diverse, which was interesting to her, and unlike most schools, it was not filled with cliques. Here’s something interesting she said about high school: “In movies and books, a teen’s life often involves drinking, sex, or drugs. It sure didn’t in mine. While I think it’s important to have stories about all kinds of people, I think it’s also important to acknowledge the other side. I did not drink alcohol or take drugs or have sex with boyfriends because I chose not to. I did have a lot of fun, though.” (See The Official Site of Shannon Hale.)

In high school, still writing and acting (but getting small parts now) she met her husband. She had a big crush on him, but he didn’t have a big crush on her. She went to school right near home, because she’d been sick for a long time during her senior year, and Dean went off to Washington State.

Shannon started out majoring in both drama and English. Even though she loved acting, she eventually decided she would rather be a writer, because you can’t act unless someone hires you, but you can always write. She loved books, and decided to become a writer. However, she hadn’t finished anything she started and she wasn’t sure what kinds of books she wanted to write. But she at least had a goal now.

She took a year and a half off to be a Mormon missionary. This is something she chose to do, not something she had to do. You pay your own way and you don’t choose where you will go, so opening the envelope is pretty exciting. She was sent to Paraguay and had to learn Spanish. She was assigned native companions (partners you share your apartment with and work with) and was determined to live like a native while she was there, so she could really learn the culture. She learned to focus on other people, not herself.

While she was on her mission, Dean wrote to her regularly. When she returned home, he was living in Utah again and they started dating seriously, but they broke up after about a year. She decided to go to graduate school out of state.

Here’s another interesting thing: The best writers got chosen to be teaching assistants and they got free tuition. She wasn’t  chosen and in fact, she was the only person who never did get chosen, meaning they thought she was the worst writer in the whole program. Despite that, she is the only writer in that group with a lot of best sellers and big awards. So, if you don’t seem like the best in your field yet, don’t give up. School isn’t the final decision maker in whether or not you can make it in what you want to do.

Even though the school didn’t think she was very good at writing, she loved her time there. She got back together with Dean and ended up marrying him. She started the book that would become The Goose Girl. It took her two years to get it written, starting over a few times and doing a lot of editing. Eventually, she got an agent and the book got sent to publishers, who didn’t like it. It was rejected nine times, but in the end, the same company that first published Harry Potter bought her book. And I’ll bet the other publishers are sorry they turned it down! It’s her most popular book.

I find Shannon Hale’s writing to be very elegant. I’d love to be able to write that way. But even beyond her amazing writing, what I really admire about her is that she has high standards and sticks to them, even in her writing. At the back of The Goose Girl there is an interview with Shannon. She said she sees a lot more racy books for teens and that her book was turned down because that stuff wasn’t in her books. She says she does not like writing about sex, so her books are sometimes seen as better for younger audiences, but she does have a few adult books as well. Sometimes people think they need to compromise to make it in the “real world.” Teens think they can’t be popular unless they lower their standards. One of my daughters came home from church one week telling me her eighteen-year-old teacher, who had been homecoming queen and head cheerleader, told them she never compromised. She didn’t feel she needed to compromise her standards to be popular, so she never did. I admire that in a person. It seems like Shannon Hale is that kind of person, so she is someone I admire, not just as a writer, but as a person.

Do you have a favorite celebrity who doesn’t compromise his or her standards?

“…representing the same strengths and values demonstrated by Army soldiers including loyalty, respect, honor, and integrity.”

Ryker has been officially invited to the prestigious Army football three-day learning experience featuring NFL and NCAA coaches, as well as to participate in game-week activities, culminating in the Army All-American Bowl scheduled for January 8^th, 2011 in San Antonio.

Last summer  Ryker participated at the Nike camp.  A  storm of division candidates and hopefuls blitzed around the playing field. One reporter stated:

“Among the top offensive lineman performers was Ryker Mathews. Mathews dominated in every category the camp had to offer. He was clearly the best offensive lineman in attendance.”

In spite of his imposing size and talent on the field, Ryker presents an unpretentious smile and genuine demeanor.  As one of the top linemen in the country, Ryker recently committed to play college ball for Brigham Young University.  He will transfer to the university mid-year to participate in spring practice for the 2011 season. Convinced to join the Cougars partly out of his respect for Coach Weber, Ryker said, “I love everything they have to offer. I love the atmosphere, the coaches, and the school. I have met some of the players and that also helped influence my decision.”

BYU students agree to adhere to a strict honor code which prohibits smoking, drinking, sexual liaisons, and cheating.  Ryker is comfortable with those standards, because he has always lived them.  His mother is most proud of the choices Ryker has made to bring him to this point.

Just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean they’re right.

Great stories, but of course, that’s not how it worked in real life. When I was a freshman in high school, I found myself unexpectedly getting attention from a group of popular kids. I don’t know how I came to their attention since popular had never been part of my life. Actually, I’d never really had any desire to be popular. I’d always been happy with the friends I had, but somehow, when they started paying attention to me and to my friend, we both were so flattered we forgot popularity had never been very important to us.

At first, everything seemed great. However, my friend David pulled me aside and warned me the kids in that group were dangerous. He said they didn’t have values and they liked to pull good kids into their group and try to corrupt them. I shrugged off his warning, figuring he was jealous of the time I spent with the new friends I had.

Then one day at a party for my drama class, they invited me to go for a walk with them, saying it was too hot inside. I guess I was pretty inexperienced, because I actually thought they were going for a walk. I loved nighttime walks. Instead, of course, they pulled out cigarettes. I had watched my grandmother suffer from emphysema for several years, the result of a lifetime of smoking, so I was not even tempted to smoke. I refused their offer and instead of accepting it, as always happens in stories, they started making fun of me. Even worse, my friend took one, looking a little embarrassed as she did so. I wanted to yank it out of her mouth, knowing what she was doing to herself, but I didn’t. I didn’t really know what to do. I was hurt that my “friends” would make fun of me for doing what I was knew was right and I was angry that they’d gotten my friend to give in so she could fit in, but I also lacked the courage to just go into the house alone. I wouldn’t give in, knowing what I knew, but I stayed with them. Finally one of the girls told the others to leave me alone.

The worst was yet to come, though. When we went back inside, a boy I really admired walked over to me and said, “I know they do all kinds of things they aren’t supposed to, but I thought you were different.” I realized, as he walked away,  he thought I had smoked because I was with them. I realized everyone knew why they’d gone outside and by going with them—and by returning with them—I sent a false message that I was just like them.

That weekend, I paid more attention to David’s warning. I learned they did a lot of things I hadn’t known they did. I was shy, though, and not very brave, so I didn’t know what to do. On Monday, not wanting to see them in drama class or at lunch, I came to school early and went to talk to my guidance counselor. She suggested we rearrange my schedule so I had no classes with them and so my lunch would be at a different time. That took away any temptation to continue to bask in the prestige of their popularity and made it easier for me to break off the ties—we just never really saw each other any more.

When I walked into the cafeteria that day, I saw David. He motioned me over and I joined the friends I had abandoned. I was lucky they wanted me back. Popularity didn’t seem so appealing anymore as I found myself thinking about the trouble I could have gotten myself into and the damage I’d done to my reputation just by hanging out with the wrong crowd. I didn’t do anything wrong, but no one else knew that.

That story had a happy ending for me, but it didn’t for my friend, who stayed with the group and adopted their values. She had a hard life ahead once she abandoned her standards and her dreams for life to focus on being accepted and popular. I tried to help, but there was nothing I could do. A person has to take the first step alone before others can step in to help.

As an adult now, I can’t remember why it seemed so important to be in that group. I had nothing in common with those people and they didn’t care about me. If they’d cared about me as a person, they would have respected my standards. I was so much happier with friends who shared my values and who respected me if I chose a higher value once in a while. More importantly, their high standards encouraged me to live a better life. We had fun, but we always had an eye on a bright and glorious future. We knew high school wasn’t all there was to life.

Peter Vidmar, a Mormon, likes to quote a former leader of his church, Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball’s motto was “Do it.” Peter Vidmar says if you want your dreams to come true, you can’t just dream about them—you have to get to work and make them come true.

He explains that the margin of victory is often very, very small:

“Let’s realize what the margin of victory was in a few of the events in last summer’s Olympics. In women’s cycling, after the 79.2-kilometer race, the difference between the gold medalist and the silver medalist at the finish line was just the length of a tire. In a pressure-packed swimming relay, the difference between the first-place team and second-place team was only .04 of a second. In many of the gymnastics competitions, the difference between first place and second place was as minute as .025 of a point.

The champions didn’t win by running twice as fast, by jumping twice as far, or by scoring twice as many points as their opponents. In many cases they won by just a fraction of a second, a fraction of an inch, or a fraction of a point. Likewise, and more important, the champions didn’t win by training twice as hard as their opponents. If another gymnast trains six hours a day, I can’t train twelve hours a day. Twelve hours a day in a gym just isn’t healthy! But I can train six hours and fifteen minutes a day. This is where giving it that little extra and going the extra mile makes the difference.” (Peter Vidmar, “Pursuing Excellence,” Ensign, May 1985, 38.)

He advises people to work at everything they do just a little longer—even just fifteen minutes a day more will add up to more than 91 hours a year of extra training and can make the difference between success and failure.

Next, he reminds listeners to not give up. Success isn’t always smooth or consistent. There will be days when nothing seems to be going well, or when we get discouraged, but if we give up, we can’t possibly succeed. Instead, just keep working away at it, little by little.

He teaches that intermediate goals are important, but equally important is to set a really high top goal. He aimed for the Olympics even when he hadn’t started winning local competitions, because it made him work that much harder—not hard enough to win the next local competition, but hard enough to win the Olympics. This meant he worked harder than the others, who were only focused on the next contest.

Finally, he encourages his listeners to hold on to their moral standards. He tells a story of being handed a large cup filled with wine. Each winner was supposed to drink from the cup and pass it on. He explained he wouldn’t do it—not even just a sip—because he was Mormon. They insisted he take the cup when it was passed to him, so he did, but he only held it high and then passed it on. The audience laughed at him for refusing to drink, but, even though he was a little embarrassed, he was also proud to realize how easy it had been for him to not give in to pressure to lower his standards.

Read Peter Vidmar’s complete article on Pursuing Excellence.