The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often mistakenly called the Mormon Church) holds its members to high standards. There are certain covenants members take upon themsleves, which they strive every day to work on and keep. There are times, though, when an individual does something that can get him or her excommunicated from the Church. This action is only taken when an individual has committed a very serious sin. Excommunication means that the person’s records are removed from the Church and excludes the individual from holding a calling (or position of responsibility in the Church), taking the Sacrament (or Eucharist), and attending the temple, although individuals are welcome to and are encouraged to attend regular church meetings. They are welcome to come back to the Church at any time, through the process of repentance and getting re-baptism. In fact, that is the express purpose of excommunication—the beginning of the repentance process, with Church authorities there to help at every juncture. Remember, excommunication is the result of very serious sin.

Even though I wish that I could tell you that every member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a strong and obedient member, that is not true of any religious parish or congregation. Like all children of God, we have our agency—the ability to choose right from wrong. And there are times that people in the Church are lured in by the world’s temptations. When a member falls into a temptation that is great enough, there is a chance that a member can be excommunicated, which means that their records can be erased  from the Church.

Most of my life, I have lived around people of the Church whose morals and behavior have matched my own. But the older that I got, the more I made friends with those are not what they may have appeared at first to be. I believed as a child, that if you were a member of the LDS Church, you never did anything bad in your life. It wasn’t until I got into the Army that I realized how untrue that was. Out of about three hundred people in my unit, there were only four or five Mormons. Each day of the week, I watched them live and act as though the Church and its teachings meant nothing. Then on Sunday, they went to church, like nothing was wrong. What made me the most upset was the fact that they had claimed that the only reason they went to church was to get out of cleaning duty.

Now, I’ll admit that it was a nice perk. But that was not the reason that I went to church every Sunday. When I got home, I made friends with people of the Church who were just like the people I had met in the Army. The closer that I got to those people, the more I found out about the things that they were doing. It hurt to see my friends slowly fall into the darkness of sin. One friend whom I was very close to was talking to me one day and told me of a situation that disgusted me. It was my belief that his actions were those that merit excommunication.

I talked to my parents about his situation, telling them what I believed he should do. My parents gave me good advice, though. They said that it wasn’t my place to decide what he should do. Just like a person decides what they do in life, bad or good, they also must decide for themselves whether they are worthy to continue being a part of the Church. Even though I felt that my friend should talk to the bishop, and maybe be excommunicated for his actions, it wasn’t my place to decide. That was something between him, God, and his Bishop.

When excommunication from the Church is necessary, we must not regard the penalty as an end to all blessings and eternal possibilities. Even excommunication, serious as it is, can have the effect of restoring the proper perspective of the offender. Once deprived of Church membership, it is interesting to note how vitally important rebaptism becomes. The truly repentant excommunicated person will strive diligently to regain the waters of baptism. In the Church, there are scores of members who have earned their way back into the Church through true repentance, who now stand on more firm ground than ever before in their lives. They have learned their lesson well. They are not likely to make the same mistake again; and surely the blessings of eternity are once again a possibility, thanks to the sanctifying influence of true repentance coupled with the miracle of forgiveness.

(See Robert L. Simpson, “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, July 1975, 47–48.)

For the rest of my ninth grade year, those two people insulted and teased me every chance that they got. The pain was too much most days, so I ended up spending most of my time in the counselor’s office to get away from them. When I moved on to High School, the boy and girl that were hurting me emotionally went to different High Schools than I. For a year and a half, I tried my hardest to forget everything that had happened and focus on making new friends in High School. And for that year and a half, I forgot all about the guy and girl that made me cry almost every day. Half way through my 11th year, my family moved more south in the town we were living in. Because of this, I ended up going to a new High School. My first day that I had drama class, I walked down to the Arts side of the building. Sitting on the steps, talking to one of my old and good friends, was the guy that made my 9th grade year so awful. When I saw him, my eyes opened as wide, as my jaw dropped and my body shook. I didn’t know what I was going to do. But the second that I saw him smile and walk over to me, to give me a hug, I knew what to do. I was going to forgive him, right there and then; I was going to forgive him. And I did. I did not mention anything that happened in 9th grade, and neither did he. He moved past it, and so did I.

It’s discouraging to see how many movies now a days are so focused on revenge, on hurting those who have wronged you in some way. About sixty percent of the movies that I see in the theaters are based around that topic. My question is why can’t people see the pattern in every revenge story that they watch. It never ends well for anybody.

Forgiveness is something that is taught in depth in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and in most other churches, and is one of the hardest things to do. It’s hard to let go of the hurt that has been embedded in your heart and soul. But it’s also one of the most rewarding things when it’s done right. There are times when forgiveness can only come through prayer and sometimes fasting. Holding on to hate and pain doesn’t do anything to the people who have wronged you. Keeping those feelings inside for so long turns you into a spiteful and angry person. Holding grudges eats away at you and makes you ugly, inside and out. There is no peace in holding it and building your life around wanting revenge.

Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge accourding to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for verily I say unto you, he that forgiveth not his neighbor’s trespasses when he says that he repents, the same hath brought himself under condemnation (Mosiah 26: 29—31).

One story that I can relate to and that most of you know is The Count of Monte Cristo. Because the villain was jealous of the main character, he ruined his life and made him suffer for being happy. The main character, Edmond Dantes, spends the rest of the story plotting ways to get revenge. As you read, you can see how much he changes. He becomes a cynical and hateful person, completely different from the sweet and caring person that he was in the beginning.

In stark contrast, Jesus Christ was bound, beaten, mocked, and spat upon before He was nailed to a cross on the Golgotha, not even a day after he knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane and suffered for all of our sins. And still as he hung on the cross, bruised, broken, and in more pain than we can ever imagine, He raised his head to the heavens and said with a soft voice. “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Mormon teens were able to explain to her that the purpose of life was to grow spiritually and to be tested, with the eventual ability to return to Heavenly Father if they keep the commandments. Other teens, she felt, were more vague about the purpose of life, which tended to be that they were supposed to be happy and feel good about themselves.

The difference between those things is part of the secret to why Mormon teens did better in the interviews. If the purpose of life is to be happy and have good self-esteem, it creates a very self-centered focus on life. Life turns out to be all about you, which is why some people are calling young people part of the Me generation. Mormon teens are taught it isn’t all about them and it isn’t all about this life. They have an eternal goal that requires hard work, sacrifice, and a focus on other people. Now, it just so happens that when you’re working hard, sacrificing, and focusing on other, you will be happy most of the time and you will have good self-esteem, but those are not the only focus.

Yes, God wanted us to be happy, but not in a worldly way. Happiness in a worldly way might mean you get to spend your teen years playing video games and hanging out at the mall. What Mormons are after is joy. They have a scripture that says that man is that he might have joy. Joy is different than plain old happiness. It is the feeling that comes when we make Jesus Christ the center of our world and let our love for Him determine how we will live.

Mormons believe we are saved by grace. Grace came to us because Jesus took on Himself our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to pay any price for our sins; it just made it possible for us to be forgiven for them if we repent. He also died on the cross for us and then was resurrected. Because He overcame death, we can too. So grace allows us to live forever, to choose to repent of our sins, and to return to live with God if we are worthy. This gift of grace is given to everyone who has ever lived on the earth and there are no requirements and there are no actions required, not even believing in God. It is a free gift.

However, what’s free is pretty much never as amazing as what we can get when we’re willing to work for it. So, although living forever is a free gift, we can upgrade our eternal status by keeping the commandments. You can’t just work your way back into heaven, though. This is a little tricky. The truth is that when we love someone we want to make them happy and we want to be what they want us to be. Because we love God and Jesus Christ, we want to do what They’ve asked us to do and to be what they’ve asked us to be. The more we love Them, the more we want this and the easier obedience becomes. So our actions must come from love for God, not for the mere desire for rewards. If we do all the right things on the outside, but our hearts are wrong, we get nothing for it. If we love God and we’re doing what we’re supposed to do because we love Him, that’s when the rewards come.

God said that everyone who says “Lord, Lord” won’t get into Heaven (Matthew 7:21).To get into Heaven, you have to keep the commandments. This is because believing isn’t enough. Jesus also taught even the devils believe in Jesus. It does no good to believe in Him if you aren’t also willing to obey Him and if you don’t love Him.

All of this is part of a great plan of salvation God taught us and that we agreed to before we were born. Mormon teens know they lived with God before they were born. They were spirits there, but they were themselves. After living there and learning and deciding what kind of person they were going to be God taught them it was time to grow up and leave home for a while—just as you will someday. The place we’d be going was called Earth and we’d be born into families and get bodies. But we’d also be tested  here. We’d have trials and be expected to learn how to resolve them and overcome them.

This means Mormon teens don’t expect life to be always easy and fun. They know God won’t always step in to keep us from experiencing hardships because we wouldn’t  learn anything that way. They do know He is listening when they pray, and they know He will answer their prayers, but He won’t always answer them the way we ask Him to. God is in charge and knows what is best for us. He can see much further into the future than we can. Sometimes what we think we want is all wrong. Still, if He makes us suffer for a while or gives us something different than we asked for, He will be there to comfort and guide us. Mormon teens trust God.

Trusting God gives them hope. They know what He promised them—eternal happiness in His presence and the privilege of being with their families forever. They want this and they believe they are capable of getting it. It might be hard work, but Mormon teens aren’t afraid of hard work. They’ve grown up with it.

Can you see how all of this gives them hope? They are in charge of their eternal futures. That doesn’t mean everything on earth will happen just the way they want it, but if they do God’s will, serving God and serving others, they will get the very best God has to offer. It’s entirely up to them. No other person can keep them out of Heaven. God has told them exactly how to get there and they’ve confirmed it through personal prayer, not the promises of men. They’re in charge because they know God is in charge and will always keep His promises.

God makes covenants with His children. He sets the terms but if we do our part, He always does His part. This brings Mormon teens an extraordinary sense of stability, comfort, and hope for the future. It’s even more than just hope…it’s knowledge that their eternal life can be perfect.

We are in the decision-making portion of our existence. The teenage years can be somewhat of a fall from the innocence of childhood, just like we came down to Earth from living in innocence with God. We need the knowledge we gain in life, as in teenage years, to grow up to our full potential. Though some of us would probably like to skip being teenagers, it’s a crucial learning stage. Even in awkward, emotional, challenging times, you learn important lessons to guide your life. Similarly, in the fallen state of mortality, we learn from experience the lessons necessary for our eternal destiny.

The lessons we learn in life and the decisions we make will determine whether we meet our full potential—whether we can become like our Father in Heaven. President Thomas S. Monson shared a story in the last General Conference, in which an elders quorum president was asked about the worth of souls:

The stunned quorum president hesitated as he formulated his reply. I had a prayer in my heart that he would be able to answer the question. He finally responded, “The worth of a soul is its capacity to become as God.” (Thomas S. Monson, “Our Sacred Priesthood Trust,” Ensign, May 2006, 56)

Being a teenager seems like everything when it’s happening, but when it’s over, it seems like a very short time—a time when we either prepared for the blessings and responsibilities of adulthood or we wasted time, thinking that just being a teenager was all that mattered. This life is the same way. We can either choose to prepare for the eternal adulthood—being like God—or we can be absorbed in mortality, thinking that this life is what matters.

So what does matter? Remembering the worth of your immortal soul, and preparing for the life to come. In this life, there are many ways we can prepare. We can take advantage of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He paid the price for your otherwise-impossible destiny—will you do what it takes to reach it? We can learn to know personally our Heavenly Father and our Savior. We can repent, pray, read scriptures, listen to our leaders, and control ourselves.

While the hope and destiny of every human being is great, the things that will bring that destiny into view are usually simple, sometimes tedious, and never glamorous. They are the little things we do every day, like praying meaningfully, repenting of smaller or larger sins, and going to Mormon Church meetings. But these small things are what bring about the miracles necessary to grow to be closer to and more like Heavenly Father. Daily devotion to doing the right is what brings a powerful testimony and witness from the Holy Ghost. Worthiness brings the blessings of eternity promised when we keep our covenants. Repentance allows the miraculous atonement really work in us, to clean us from sin and let God forget our wrongs.

In this time of making choices, as in mortal life, we choose what we will be. We choose whether to be morally clean adults, blessed by covenants and service. We choose whether we will become like God after this mortal life. At this time, remember what you are worth. Remember not to throw yourself away in the darkness of a tough decision. There is light in keeping an eternal perspective.

Richard G. Hinckley said the following of repentance:

“How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful.” (”Repentance, a Blessing of Membership,” Ensign, May 2006, 49)

Heavenly Father gave his only begotten Son to suffer and die at the hands of cruel enemies, lonely and without succor, just so we could all have the chance to come back to him and feel the glory of his presence. Would we hold back our repentance where he has done so much? So much was paid so that we could repent and have joy in being pure, and so much is at stake in our repenting-we have nothing to lose but sorrow as we increase in our purity.

Complete repentance brings a new and better life. It turns a life we may think we have destroyed into a blessed life. Repentance restores opportunities and blessings and self-respect. Repent. Be worthy once again to return to the God and Father who loves you enough-in all of your imperfections-to sacrifice everything.

When I was about fourteen, I had an interview with my Mormon bishop, who explained to me that as I made correct choices, I would have more options for my future, but if I made bad choices, my options would become more and more limited. Some think that taking the greatest advantage of freedom means making whatever wrong choices you want, but the truth is that every wrong choice limits freedom in some way. Even choosing not to study can limit what colleges you get into!

Freedom and agency, Mormons believe, are two of the greatest gifts God has given to man. I have found it to be true that every correct choice I’ve made has given me freedoms, while wrong choices have taken them away. Repentance, however, is always an option, and it brings freedom to captives. In times when we are unworthy or burdened by sin and the consequences of bad decisions, we can turn to Jesus Christ; we can repent of our sins and forsake them. The choice to repent will allow Christ to give us uncountable blessings and guide us to make correct choices and receive more freedoms. Freedom is not free-agency was given to us by God, and the savior’s atonement gave us the freedom to always repent and be forgiven. We have to guard our freedom and treasure it by using it wisely.