When the game ends, they aren’t laughing anymore.

They are winning by an average of 26 points each game. They play more like inner-city teams than suburban teams. Even more importantly, they all really do live within the boundaries of their school. No outside recruiting to make the team look better for this high school.

Oh, and one more thing—they’re all Mormons. All five seniors are planning Mormon missions, four as soon as they graduate, and the other one in a year or so. They even drew the attention of their church, which used them to demonstrate how the new mission rules play out in real life. Mormons just lowered the ages missionaries can serve and boys can now go when they turn eighteen if they’ve graduated from high school. They don’t have to, however. They can leave at any time until they are twenty-six. The previous age was nineteen and a lot of boys still want to leave then, when they’re a little older and have a little college behind them.

They had all planned to leave when they were nineteen. Eric Mica had intended to get in a year at Brigham Young University first and he decided to stick with the plan he’d set up. That schedule had always felt just right to him. When the opportunity came to leave sooner, he prayed again and still felt it would be best for him to serve when he is nineteen.

Nick Emery, on the other hand, had always wanted to leave straight out of high school.  As soon as he learned that was possible, he altered his plans to leave as soon as he was eighteen. He has already been called to serve in Germany.

Talon Shumway is headed for Texas at graduation and Braden Miles for Washington, DC. Connor Toolson is leaving later in the summer.

Their area isn’t really known for basketball, but some of them have impressive basketball heritages. Nick Emery’s older brother Jackson was co-captain with Jimmer Fredette at Brigham Young University. Tyler Haws’ older brother, who also played with Fredette, recently returned from a mission and, as a sophomore, has already broken the one thousand career points record and is on track to break the school record for the most points if he continues his current path.

The coach, Quincy Lewis, has known many of the players since they were children. He coaches youth basketball and many of his team players were on his youth teams. He has had the unique opportunity to train his team long before they reached high school.

The boys are very open about their religion. They often list the Book of Mormon as their last book read and include missions and Mormon temple marriages in their list of goals on the team program. They accept teasing about their heritage, explaining to people that they are not from polygamist families.

While people might expect young, highly moral Mormon boys to be wimps on the court, they are quickly cured of that stereotype. They are winning against teams bigger and stronger than they are and the world is starting to take notice. Check out this article at the New York Times on the Lone Peak Team.

Being parents is just what they always wanted. And they love it.

“Of course we have our crazy moments,” Thompson says, “but for the most part we just try to find the good things in the day and remember that they’re only going to be little for so long.”

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Thompsons believe that maintaining a strong marriage and raising and teaching children are essential keys to happiness and their most important responsibilities on earth.

In fact, 81 percent of Mormons say being a good parent is “one of the most important things in life,” according to a new survey by the Pew Research Center‘s Forum on Religion & Public Life — the first survey of Mormons about Mormons, by a non-LDS research organization.

The survey of more than 1,000 self-identified Latter-day Saints from across the country asked how accepted Mormons feel in American culture, as well as their thoughts on religious practices, political issues and family roles.

The survey showed that Mormons are more likely to be married than the general population, 67 percent of the sample size compared to 52 percent of the general public.

And 85 percent of married Mormons married other Mormons. Protestants marry other Protestants 81 percent of the time and Catholics marry each other 78 percent of the time.

With an emphasis on marriage, it should come as no surprise that the Mormons surveyed also had, on average, more children (2.6) than the general U.S. population (1.8).

Thompson grew up wanting to have a large family and be a good mother, but she and her husband have struggled with infertility for nearly nine years — a trial punctuated by the joys of two different adoptions, Ellie, then the twins.

“We said when we finally get to be parents, we’re going to actually sit down and take a little more time to focus on our kids,” Thompson said, who lives in northern Utah. “I’m not saying that other people don’t do that — the perspective we have is just a little different.”

Other Latter-day Saints share the Thompson’s enthusiasm to put family first.

“Family is at the core of our faith,” says Jane Clayson Johnson, a Latter-day Saint and former anchor of CBS’s “The Early Show” who prefers the title of mom to two young children and stepmom to three older ones. “There are so many distractions today that all force us outward, away from core relationships. What our faith does is turn us back toward deep, rich, meaningful relationships in families.”

“It teaches us that families are where we find meaning,” continued Clayson from her home in Boston. “The work I do in my family is the most important work that I’ll ever do.”

Among the general public, 50 percent list being a good parent as “one of the most important things in life,” with 44 percent listing it as “very important but not most important.”

That shouldn’t be taken to mean that the average American doesn’t value marriage or family, just that they don’t “go to church every week and get told that’s what they’re supposed to do,” says Marie Cornwall, a professor of sociology at Brigham Young University. Cornwall advised the Pew Center for this survey.

“There’s nothing to suggest that family life is less valued in the United States over time,” she said, “but there’s more that suggests that people are feeling like it’s not possible for them to attain that.”

The pressure comes when a “successful” marriage is defined as having a good job, a hefty retirement account and a lovely home with a white picket fence, Cornwall said. So when people can’t achieve that in today’s tough economy, many feel like they’ve failed.

“For Mormons, there’s a spiritual aspect brought to that (definition of success),” she said, “an effort, in terms of sermons, to try and downplay the material and place more emphasis on the relationships.”

When the survey asked Mormons about working arrangements in families, nearly six out of 10 Mormons indicated they would prefer a marriage where the man works and the woman stays home to care for the home and the children.

LDS college graduates liked this marital structure more than any other subgroup, with 71 percent of them preferring the man to work and the woman to stay home.

In the general population, only 30 percent of Americans would prefer a marriage where the husband works and the wife stays home. Among religiously unaffiliated Americans, it drops to 15 percent who would pick such a scenario.

Almost four-in-10 Mormons would prefer that both parents work and both parents help with child rearing and housework.

For American Fork mom Ruth Ann Dupaix, 37, it’s not a black-or-white decision. Throughout her marriage she has both worked and stayed at home.

“The way we look at it, we try to make it a partnership,” Dupaix says. “It’s more who’s able at the time to do it best. It’s working together, a give and take.”

When she and her husband, Geoff, were first married, her job helped pay for his school. When he finished, she kept working because her employer would pay for her to complete her degree, and education was important to both of them.

Dupaix stopped working when her sixth child was born but has recently gone back to work at a local grocery store three nights a week to help fulfill a family goal to reduce their debt load.

It’s a big pay cut from the job she used to have at a bank, but it’s a more family friendly schedule.

“As part of a family you make sacrifices,” she said. “I’m gone when the kids are asleep, but I’m still here during the day when they need me.”

Additional Resources:

For original source Deseret News article: Mormon family marriage focus Pew.

Mormons in America Pew Study.

The adult leaders who found the purse needed to find out who it belonged to so they could return it. There was no identification outside the purse, and they hated to snoop, but there was no choice. To see as little as possible, they reached in and pulled out just one item. They figured they’d see as little as possible before finding identification.

The first thing they found was a booklet called “For the Strength of Youth.” This is a booklet given to Mormon teenagers that remind them of the moral standards God wants them to live by. Even though there was no name on the pamphlet, the leaders realized it told them something important about the girl—she cared so much about living the way God asked her to live she even brought the standards with her to dances.

The next item they looked at was a notebook. They were sure that would have some identifying information in it. However, it turned out to have six pages of scriptures in it—it was a list of the girl’s favorite scriptures. Again, although they still didn’t know her name, they knew she loved to study her scriptures.

Every item they pulled out of her purse told them more about what kind of girl owned the purse. They found things that showed she was artistically creative, that she loved to serve others, that she was neat, and that she was domestic. She was prepared for emergencies. Finally they found her identification. They were happy to see what an incredible young lady she was, and they knew this by what was in a purse she never expected others to peer into.

If someone were to go through your purse, pockets, or backpack, if they were to search your school locker or your bedroom, if they were to read your journal…what would they learn about you? Would they find you to be the person you portray yourself to be, or would they learn you were not the person they had thought you were? Would they be excited to learn your standards—even when you think no one is watching—or would they be sad and worried?

Even if your parents or complete strangers never go through your private things, God knows what is in them. What does He see when He peers into your private life? Are you proud of the person you are? Are you one person when others are watching and a different person when you’re alone? Are you one person to your friends and another to your parents and religious leaders?

A lot of times we divide our lives into little categories and we live differently depending on where we are and who we are with. However, to become a real person, we must be the same person all the time under every circumstances. When we are always the same, living by the same standards, people trust us more. They know they can depend on us in every situation. We are more genuine, more real.

To be a Christian, we have to be Christian all the time, not just when important people are watching. Jesus wants us to be like Him every minute of every day, no matter who we are with.

When my children were younger, one of them had a church teacher for a while who was very popular. She had just graduated from high school and had been head cheerleader and a prom or homecoming queen. She told the children in the church class she taught that summer that she had never once lowered her standards in order to be popular. She hadn’t felt a need to dress immodestly, use inappropriate language, or live differently than her family and her church had taught her to live. Even though this meant she didn’t wear all the latest fashions (even though she was always fashionably dressed) and even though she sometimes stayed home when her friends wanted to do something she knew was wrong, even though she never swore, cheated, or did other immoral things…everyone still liked her. She was still the most popular girl in school because she was a wonderful person, kind to everyone, dependable, and herself. No matter what situation she was in, she was always herself and she was always who God wanted her to be.

Take a few hours today to look through your purse, your backpack, your locker, and your bedroom. Pay attention to how you behave in every part of your life. Are you always the person God wants you to be?

The Greek term Apologia is the root word for apologetics, which means  “the ability of an orator to be able to defend one’s viewpoint.”  As a debater, each year we were given a controversial topic in science called a legitimate controversy.  That topic was the source of our debates during that year. To prepare, we would collect quotes, excerpts, and evidentiary statements to argue our topic on both sides of the issue. We had hundreds of sources arranged on index cards. We could argue successfully for or against our topic. Some of us would purchase commercial products designed for debaters, but we supplemented with our own original material. This gave us an advantage over our opponents by letting us present something they did not know or weren’t prepared to argue. Our sources were scientific journals, books, newspapers and magazines. It was more difficult then, because the internet did not yet exist. We were studying and reading all year in preparation.

 In competition, we were given just a few minutes to prepare arguments. We never knew beforehand which side we would argue so we prepared ourselves to argue either position. A judge kept track of both debate teams, often made flow charts of how the debates were going, and awarded points based on the arguments of each participant or team with either fact or emotion. It was simple: whoever scored the most points or was most convincing won.  We prepared for every possibility knowing what the arguments would be and how to overcome each particular source or comment. On the day of competition, we crossed our fingers and hoped that, somehow, we could trip up our competition and score a victory, but we were also well prepared and practiced. Our debates were passionate, heated, and quick and followed a time limit. Most of us, by the end of the year, had developed a personal opinion as to which side was correct, but we could argue both sides of the argument. During the year, we studied each side so extensively that once we made up our minds we seldom changed them. In debate, what mattered most were preparation, presentation, and skill.

Experienced debaters, who have years of training and study, are careful debaters. They may be able to persuade and win a debate with very little evidence but it is because they have honed and developed their skills over time and practiced. Most people aren’t able to do what they do, even though they may think they are well versed, capable and prepared to debate at a moment’s notice. Developing these types of skills takes time and practice.  Another downside is that truth does not always win the day. Quite often cleverness and trickery also yield results.

Debates with anti-Mormons, for most, are like walking into a blind alley without an escape plan. You will not change their mind, but they may change yours and the trauma is real. Faith must be nurtured.  God does not expect us to be scholars or to be able to defend our faith in this manner. He does expect us to use our judgment, follow the counsel of his leaders and exercise our faith and skill. The prophet Moroni tells us “…when ye have received these things…ask God…in the name of Christ if these things are not true; and if ye will ask with a sincere heart with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you through the power of the Holy Ghost, and by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (See Moroni 10:4-5).

It is wise follow the teachings of our leaders by not subjecting ourselves to anti-Mormons. However, several years ago, The Foundation for Apologetic Information & Research (FAIR) was established. (See http://www.fairmormon.org). It is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing well-documented answers to criticisms of LDS (Mormon) doctrine, belief and practice. Most members will find this organization a really valuable tool to help you nurture and increase your faith.

The Lord tells us “…as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.  D&C 88:118

Mel Borup-Chandler and his wife Sandra reside in  in North LA County. Mel is a lifelong member of the church and his wife Sandra is a convert.

Even though you are not here in the same room with me as I write, I am writing as if this is just you and me chatting.  One soul to another.

Mormon temples are sacred to Mormon beliefs.

I was recently thinking about myself and my experience with the LDS Temples. Perhaps this might be interesting to you if you never knew anyone who was “Mormon” before.  I am a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are Christians who believe in the Jesus of the New Testament.

We believe that Jesus has walked in the temples of our time, although not very many people have ever seen him there. One man, James Talmage, was writing a book called Jesus the Christ many years ago. He told his granddaughter that as he was working, he saw Jesus in the Salt Lake City Temple. That was a long time ago. The book Mr. Talmage wrote is very good and has been used as a text book , I heard.

Before I ever went into a temple belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I heard some hideous things, rumors, about what went on inside of there. Pure speculation, apparently.

Since I joined the church, I now have the opportunity to go inside the temple whenever I want. It is open most every day, from early in the morning until late in the evening. Currently, I only live about a mile from the temple, but I remember the days when I had to drive 4-6 hours to get to a temple.

The first time I went into a temple was in 1983. It was a wonderful spring day. Inside the temple we wear all white clothing and it feels so clean and fresh. Something happened to me on my first visit in the temple, though: I had a nosebleed. It was a complete surprise and I was afraid I was going to bleed directly onto the pure white clothing I had on. But fortunately, I was able to get a tissue right away, thus avoiding anything I might be embarrassed about.  The day continued fine and I went through a session where I learned a lot of things and was reminded of things I already knew. Most everything that I heard in the temple I had read before in the Holy Bible. It was really nice to hear it again, though, inside what is called The House of the Lord.

Since my first visit in the temple way back then, I have returned many times. It is a place where I can go to pray for something special or for someone who needs some prayers at that time. I have a lot of faith, so when I go I feel like God knows I am there. Oh, I know he loves me all the time. But I think he is extra happy when I come there to pray to him and to feel of the power of his presence.  I’m not saying it is anything weird, but it is like when you know that everything will be alright. It feels like you know that God is watching out for each one of us.

Sometimes when I am there, I learn something that I never could understand before. It seems like my eyes were covered with dark sunglasses in a dim room, but then the glasses are taken off and the room is brighter. It is like I kind of understood before, but now it is a “duh, of course!” moment.

There is a cafeteria in some of the temples where people who are planning to be there for a while can grab a bite to eat.  When I am inside the temple, I really like how everyone is so nice and since they are dressed in white, they all look like angels. A lot of seniors have time to go to the temple, so there is a lot of white hair and it looks really nice.

One more cool thing about being in the temple is nobody ever yells or shouts. It is more like everyone is being reverent and talking in hushed tones.  I don’t know if I could stay in there a long time every day since I am kind of a social talkative person, but it is really nice to be in there for a couple of hours at a time.

The time we spend in the temple is for us and for our ancestors. It is very rewarding to feel connected to those people in our family. When I was there being sealed to my Mom and Dad, it was a very strong feeling, like they were there and maybe a few angels, too, because it seemed like something bigger than just the few people in the room were there. You know that feeling when someone is there even though you can’t see them. It was like that multiplied.  Sealing is an ordinance that binds families together for life beyond this life.  The ultimate goal is for everyone to be sealed to their family eventually.  Sometimes on this earth we don’t like our family members that much. But if we could see them in their perfect form, we would probably want to bow down to them. And God sees them in their perfect form and their human form. So, I think that is probably what helps him to love everyone, even when they are being awful in this earthly life.

The temple is a wonderful place to go to get a better understanding on something, or to pray for those we love, or those we don’t love so that we can learn to love them and forgive them. And it is a place to take care of those important sealings.  Some people go to ask for health or for help with some particularly difficult problem.

But, I like to go just because. Just because it feels so nice and loving there and because I know God wants me there sometimes. One day I felt like he wanted me to go that very day, so I just changed my plans and went and a lot of my friends were there that same day and it seemed like a glorious party had been arranged. It was awesome!  Maybe someday you and I can meet in the temple!  That would be perfect!

Teens in Hawaii had a chance to put on one of these celebrations recently. Watch this video to see them rehearsing, performing, and talking about their religious beliefs.

Well, it probably does. As a teenager, you’ve already decided how you feel about yourself and your body, but you are also making new decisions on these subjects and you have more control over what you wear. These attitudes you’re developing started shaping when you were younger and they’re affecting how you live your life and how you look at yourself right now. It also affects how other people see you.

One group of researchers showed adults pictures of  girls. The people who looked at these pictures assumed the girls who were dressed immodestly were less intelligent and less competent. Now, that might not seem fair to you and your answer might be that people shouldn’t judge you that way. You’re probably right, but that isn’t really the point. The point is that you don’t get to choose how other people see you. They’re going to see whatever they decide to see and you’re going to pay the price for it.

Whether you like it or not, there are times it will matter to you how other people see you. You don’t want your teachers to see you as less intelligent, for instance. If your grade is on the border between two grades, the teacher will decide whether to give you the higher or lower grade and you want to be seen as intelligent and competent. Their opinion of you might impact how they grade a paper. If you have a job, you want your boss to see you that as a competent person as well. For that matter, you would probably want everyone to know you’re smart and good at things.

Girls who wear immodest clothing are also at a higher risk for eating disorders and poor body image. They train themselves to think their job in life is to be physically appealing to men, and not in an appropriate way. It’s important for girls to understand their personalities, their character, and their intelligence are what are important about them. These are the parts of themselves they need to spend the most time developing. While it’s important to be neat and to take care of the body you were given, it is not really who you are. You don’t want people thinking your body is all there is to you.

When one of my daughters was a preteen, she had an eighteen-year-old teacher at church just for the summer. The teacher would be going off to college in the fall, but in the meantime, she had a big impact on those kids she taught. She was pretty and really smart. She had been a cheerleader and homecoming queen. She told the class she had never found it necessary to dress immodestly to be popular. She wanted people to like her for who she was inside. She wore fashionable clothes and had pretty hairstyles and nice makeup, but her hair, clothes, and makeup were modest and not attention-grabbing. She had a huge amount of self-esteem because she knew people liked her for all the right reasons. She put her energy into being a moral, kind, and friendly person, not a sexy one and people loved her. She was very popular with her own peers, but also with teachers, other adults, and children.

Grace, who is 13, says dressing modestly makes her feel comfortable. She doesn’t have to worry that she is showing parts of her that shouldn’t be showing. Like a lot of teens today, she echoes the popular phrase, “Modest is hottest!”

Lila (17) says she dresses modestly because it’s uncomfortable to be immodest. “It makes me feel like people respect me.”

How would it affect your life if you know people liked you just for who you were? Would the friends you have today and the boys you date still feel the same way about you if you wore modest clothes, or suddenly became poor and couldn’t afford the latest fashions? Would they still care about you if your standards were really high and you didn’t want to do some of the things they did because of it? What if you had an accident and it affected how you look? Would your friends stick around?

Mormon teens are taught to be modest in their clothing. That includes not wearing clothing that has sexy sayings or that is too tight or emphasizes the wrong things. It isn’t only about covering up. One speaker told teens if you’re dressed properly, people will notice your face first (assuming it isn’t because you’re wearing too much makeup or something.)

Being dressed modestly tells the world you feel confident about yourself and that you don’t need to show off your body to get attention. You’re worthy of attention just because of the amazing person you are.

Of course, modesty isn’t just for girls. The article I’m writing about was about girls, so that is where I’m focused today, but the same principle applies to boys. Everyone benefits from being dressed modestly.

Take a look at this quote from Silvia H. Allred. Notice what she says about the example God set for us:

The doctrine behind modesty begins with our knowledge that we are children of God, created in His image (see Moses 2:27). Our bodies are sacred gifts from Heavenly Father and have specific purposes that He has planned. As grateful recipients, we acknowledge this gift by treating our bodies as He has asked us to (see D&C 88:33). We learn to train, control, and bridle our bodies and their physical uses to become like Heavenly Father.

From the beginning, the Lord has asked His children to cover their bodies. After Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit, their eyes were opened and they became aware that they were naked. Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves with simple aprons made of fig leaves. But the aprons were not enough, so the Lord made them more modest coats of skins. (See Genesis 3:7, 21.)

God had a higher standard then, just as He does now. His standards are not those of the world.” (See Silvia H. Allred, “Modesty: A Timeless Principle for All,” Ensign, Jul 2009, 28–32.)

Modesty isn’t about people trying to control you or about being ashamed of your body. It actually shows more pride in your body because when you know your body was created by Heavenly Father in His image, and you are proud of who you are, you don’t want to treat it in a disrespectful way. You don’t have any desire to invite other people to view your body in a disrespectful way, either. You are content to use it for the exact purposes for which God created it. You honor and respect yourself and you work to enhance your personality, your character, your spirit, and your talents because you know you are a child of God.