In California, some teens are fighting the trend of overly expensive proms. Mormon teenagers and their guests held a prom at the Santa Margarita Bell Tower that cost just fifteen dollars. The boys wore suits (most Mormon boys already own suits that they wear to church) and the girls wore lovely dresses that were modest and did not appear to cost the many hundreds of dollars some traditional prom dresses cost.

You can see how the teens dressed in the media coverage of this Mormon prom at Deseret News.

The music was carefully chosen to be morally appropriate while still modern and popular. The teens were not allowed to engage in sexualized dancing. Everyone had to be at least sixteen, since Mormons believe dating should be reserved for those sixteen and older. Eighty percent had dates, but those who preferred not to date yet were welcome.

Mormons believe that dating in high school is a chance for young people to get to know each other and to develop friendships with and understanding of those of the opposite gender. However, they teach their young people to date in groups and to date a wide range of people rather than to become exclusive at such a young age. Studies have shown that teens who pair off too young are more likely to become pregnant or to marry too soon.

Mormon boys are taught to wait until they return from their volunteer missionary service to begin courting (dating one person exclusively with the thought of possible future marriage in mind). Girls are encouraged to wait until they finish high school or return from their own missions. This allows them to avoid serious relationships until they are old enough and mature enough to marry.

Mormons also teach their young people to remain morally pure before marriage. This is one reason to avoid early serious relationships. They are taught that they are responsible for the moral well-being of their dates. This holds true for both boys and girls. The same standards apply to both.

The prom helped the teens to improve their social skills, since they were given guidance on how to plan and prepare for the date. They also learned they could have fun in an inexpensive and completely moral environment. There is no need for teens to compromise their values, even on prom night.

Read more about Mormon dating standards.

In California, some teens are fighting the trend of overly expensive proms. Mormon teenagers and their guests held a prom at the Santa Margarita Bell Tower that cost just fifteen dollars. The boys wore suits (most Mormon boys already own suits that they wear to church) and the girls wore lovely dresses that were modest and did not appear to cost the many hundreds of dollars some traditional prom dresses cost.

You can see how the teens dressed in the media coverage of this Mormon prom at Deseret News.

The music was carefully chosen to be morally appropriate while still modern and popular. The teens were not allowed to engage in sexualized dancing. Everyone had to be at least sixteen, since Mormons believe dating should be reserved for those sixteen and older. Eighty percent had dates, but those who preferred not to date yet were welcome.

Mormons believe that dating in high school is a chance for young people to get to know each other and to develop friendships with and understanding of those of the opposite gender. However, they teach their young people to date in groups and to date a wide range of people rather than to become exclusive at such a young age. Studies have shown that teens who pair off too young are more likely to become pregnant or to marry too soon.

Mormon boys are taught to wait until they return from their volunteer missionary service to begin courting (dating one person exclusively with the thought of possible future marriage in mind). Girls are encouraged to wait until they finish high school or return from their own missions. This allows them to avoid serious relationships until they are old enough and mature enough to marry.

Mormons also teach their young people to remain morally pure before marriage. This is one reason to avoid early serious relationships. They are taught that they are responsible for the moral well-being of their dates. This holds true for both boys and girls. The same standards apply to both.

The prom helped the teens to improve their social skills, since they were given guidance on how to plan and prepare for the date. They also learned they could have fun in an inexpensive and completely moral environment. There is no need for teens to compromise their values, even on prom night.

Read more about Mormon dating standards.

Just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean they’re right.

Great stories, but of course, that’s not how it worked in real life. When I was a freshman in high school, I found myself unexpectedly getting attention from a group of popular kids. I don’t know how I came to their attention since popular had never been part of my life. Actually, I’d never really had any desire to be popular. I’d always been happy with the friends I had, but somehow, when they started paying attention to me and to my friend, we both were so flattered we forgot popularity had never been very important to us.

At first, everything seemed great. However, my friend David pulled me aside and warned me the kids in that group were dangerous. He said they didn’t have values and they liked to pull good kids into their group and try to corrupt them. I shrugged off his warning, figuring he was jealous of the time I spent with the new friends I had.

Then one day at a party for my drama class, they invited me to go for a walk with them, saying it was too hot inside. I guess I was pretty inexperienced, because I actually thought they were going for a walk. I loved nighttime walks. Instead, of course, they pulled out cigarettes. I had watched my grandmother suffer from emphysema for several years, the result of a lifetime of smoking, so I was not even tempted to smoke. I refused their offer and instead of accepting it, as always happens in stories, they started making fun of me. Even worse, my friend took one, looking a little embarrassed as she did so. I wanted to yank it out of her mouth, knowing what she was doing to herself, but I didn’t. I didn’t really know what to do. I was hurt that my “friends” would make fun of me for doing what I was knew was right and I was angry that they’d gotten my friend to give in so she could fit in, but I also lacked the courage to just go into the house alone. I wouldn’t give in, knowing what I knew, but I stayed with them. Finally one of the girls told the others to leave me alone.

The worst was yet to come, though. When we went back inside, a boy I really admired walked over to me and said, “I know they do all kinds of things they aren’t supposed to, but I thought you were different.” I realized, as he walked away,  he thought I had smoked because I was with them. I realized everyone knew why they’d gone outside and by going with them—and by returning with them—I sent a false message that I was just like them.

That weekend, I paid more attention to David’s warning. I learned they did a lot of things I hadn’t known they did. I was shy, though, and not very brave, so I didn’t know what to do. On Monday, not wanting to see them in drama class or at lunch, I came to school early and went to talk to my guidance counselor. She suggested we rearrange my schedule so I had no classes with them and so my lunch would be at a different time. That took away any temptation to continue to bask in the prestige of their popularity and made it easier for me to break off the ties—we just never really saw each other any more.

When I walked into the cafeteria that day, I saw David. He motioned me over and I joined the friends I had abandoned. I was lucky they wanted me back. Popularity didn’t seem so appealing anymore as I found myself thinking about the trouble I could have gotten myself into and the damage I’d done to my reputation just by hanging out with the wrong crowd. I didn’t do anything wrong, but no one else knew that.

That story had a happy ending for me, but it didn’t for my friend, who stayed with the group and adopted their values. She had a hard life ahead once she abandoned her standards and her dreams for life to focus on being accepted and popular. I tried to help, but there was nothing I could do. A person has to take the first step alone before others can step in to help.

As an adult now, I can’t remember why it seemed so important to be in that group. I had nothing in common with those people and they didn’t care about me. If they’d cared about me as a person, they would have respected my standards. I was so much happier with friends who shared my values and who respected me if I chose a higher value once in a while. More importantly, their high standards encouraged me to live a better life. We had fun, but we always had an eye on a bright and glorious future. We knew high school wasn’t all there was to life.