Valentine’s Day can be a hard day if you’re alone. I personally don’t give much heed to the commercialized holiday, even though I’m happily married. I recognize that it was created to generate revenue for industry and that all the hype around Valentine’s Day puts a lot of emphasis on the wrong things in healthy relationships. For instance, I would far rather have a significant other show me frequently how he feels about me than just wait for one day a year to spend a lot of money and effort making a big gesture. Big gestures tend to make me nervous, feeling like they’re covering up or compensating for something.
All of this aside, I can also understand why, if you are single and don’t wish to be, Valentine’s Day can just feel like someone shoving in your face that you’re not good enough. This is a dangerous road to go down, but is also an understandable one. I would like to share a few thoughts about why you should not let yourself get discouraged.
The core of my self-worth comes from the sure knowledge that I am a child of God. I know that as His child, I have inherent value. This doesn’t mean that my life is always cheery and that I am always on cloud nine, but it does give me a great deal of comfort when things aren’t coming up roses, as it were. Knowing that I have value as a child of God is a constant reminder that, no matter how hard things may be, I still have something to offer the world.
There are people close to me who are struggling in this situation right now. They feel frustrated because they want to be married, and their best efforts are seemingly having no effect. This can produce thoughts of, “What’s wrong with me? Why can other people find love and I can’t? I must not have anything to offer, because no one wants me.” These thoughts have only one source: the adversary. There is no quicker way to attack someone than by hitting their self-esteem. Fortunately, the holy scriptures tell us that we are never alone and that we all have value.
“For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rereward” (Isaiah 52:12). God loves you and He is surrounding you. Rely on Him and He will not only protect you, but He will bear you up and ease your burdens.
God has told us that we exist with the purpose of having joy (2 Nephi 2:25). He wants us to be genuinely happy. If having a fulness of joy later means that you have to suffer a little loneliness now, isn’t it ultimately worth it? Things happen on the Lord’s timeline, not on ours. It is easy for us to get discouraged and to wish that we had things now that we just know would make us happy. Sometimes, though, the Lord knows that having what we think would make us happy now will actually not bring us as much joy as what He has planned for us later. It is never easy to say, “Thy will be done,” and to put our faith in the Lord that what He has planned for us will be even better than what we want now. However, I promise you that if you can truly humble yourself and say to Him, “This is what I want now, but if you have something better planned, I will do my best to be happy anyway and wait for your blessings,” that He will bless you more than you can even imagine.
If you carry on with your life trying to be a good person, reaching out to others in selflessness and love, then God will bless you. It is not easy to hear, “Be patient. All good things come to those who wait.” But have faith that God is there for you. Turn to Him and feel His love. Share that love with others. You have value. You have worth. You have a lot to offer the world.
This article was written by Doris White, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.